Old Habits Die Hard
by soundofpages
Summary: Rory is starting Chilton and meets Logan, Finn and everyone else. Slowly she builds a tentative friendship with them. But what happens when she falls for one of the players? PDLD which means FINNRORY just to clarify, I've been asked often but it's not a R
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: So, this is my first story... hope you like it. If there are any mistakes please tell me so I'm trying hard to improve my English... Caro_

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**1**

What was love about? Was it about kissing? About holding hands? Or just being close to each other? Everyone has their own way of showing love, affection. You can see these people every day. You see them in the subway, in the park, in the café where you drink your your coke all on your own. You see the teenagers, the grandparents and everyone else and then you think to yourself 'What is it really about?'

Rory sat in the car with her mother and stared at the impressive building in front of her. In the pictures it never seemed so ... scary. All kinds of emotions were flowing through her body. She was shivering but not from the cold. It was the fear of the unknown and excitement. This was a new beginning that could make all her dreams come true. Her heart was thumping wildly in her chest and she thought it might never slow down again.

"Are you all right, kiddo?" Lorelai asked her daughter who was mesmerized by the building with its gargoyles. Lorelai knew her daughter and was aware of the fact that she was scared but so was she. Lorelai left this world and now she was sending her daughter back in. She was afraid this would distance them from each other.

"Yeah ... yeah, I think so." Rory answered. "Let's go!"

And with that they slowly exited their Jeep. Her mother looking like she was about to go to a rodeo and she in her new school uniform.

When they had enetered the headmaster's office they were surprised by her grandmother, Emily Gilmore, who apparently was friends with headmaster Charleston's wife and who wanted to wish her granddaughter a good first day.

After some not so subtle stabs were exchanged between her mother and her grandmother, Rory was finally alone with the headmaster.

He told her that Chilton was not an easy school and only the best could succeed. And when he found out that she did not even participate in any clubs at her old school, Star's Hollow High, he sent her off with a feeling of failure. But she was also determined to show everyone that she could make it.

Seriously, this was not her day. First she could not open her locker, then she ruined Paris Gellar's history project and now officially had her first enemy in her new school. But to top it all off Paris Gellar's friends could not seem to remember her name and kept calling her Mary.

Who was this Mary anyways?

During lunchshe finally had some time to herself. Now she could take her copy of 'Moby Dick' and keep on reading. She drowned out the noise in the cafeteria and focussed on her book and the music that was coming out of her headphones. But suddenly she was jerked out of her peaceful reading. Someone sat down in front of her and started talking. One would think they would stop talking when the other person does not react. But apparently this ignorant person did not know that.

Sighing she took off her headphones, closed her book and looked up at this guy. He was one of those who called her Mary.

"Excuse me but can I help you?" she asked politely. "Well, yes, love, you can. I heard you broke Paris' project." She had not been too sure before but now she knew for certain that he was Australian. "And although I love her like a sister I think she overreacted."

Rory had studied his face while he was talking. He had a nice tan and from afar his eyes seemed to be green but when you looked closely you could see that they were more blue than green. She could get lost in them.

She was shaken out of her reverie when he waved his hand in front of her face.

"You like what you see?" a smirk was slowly growing on his face and she was blushing like mad. She did not mean to stare, it was just that she could not stop it.

"Well, I am sorry about that and I told her so but she doesn't want to hear it. So, why are you really talking to me?"

This Mary looked like a doll with her porcelain skin and these deep blue eyes that should be forbidden. And these lips, the way she was nibbling on her lower lip it was driving him crazy. She was so tempting with her innocence and she did not even know it.

"Mary, I may be cool but I'm not heartless." he smirked again. "I saw you sitting here all by yourself and I felt sorry for you. No one should sit alone in the cafeteria. So, I thought I'd keep you company!" he was sitting there in his non-chalant way that seemed so fitting and probably made him so irresistable to all the girls in the school. "And what makes you think I want your company? I was perfectly happy until you showed up and started to annoy me!" she smiled sweetly at him and started to gather her things.

"You're making fun of me, Mary, I am hurt!" he was putting his hand over his heart in mock hurt. "I wanted to be nice to you and you turn me down. I am deeply wounded, I think I'll never recover!" he sighed dramatically and rested his head on the table now.

"You'll live." with that she took her things and walked outside.

"Damn!" was all he could say and as he looked over at the table his friends were sitting at he saw that they were laughing their heads off. He knew he had lost the bet against Logan but they did not need to gloat like that. His head hung lowly as he walked over to them. He was getting older. His charme did not work the way it once did. It was the first time he lost in this game but he would not give up.

Rory was leaving against the lockers just outside the cafeteria. Her heart was beating in her chest like it did just that morning but this time it was not fear that had gripped her but something else. Something she could not quite put her finger on.

Slowly she walked towards her own locker and all the time one question was running through her mind. "What was his name?"

Her belongings were easily put away and her chemistry books were taken out. Finally her heart was slowing down and the bell rang signalling the end of lunch and the beginning of the last lessons of the day.

Lorelai had promised to pick her up with a big double coffee.

That was the only thing that kept her up. She just wanted to see her mother, go to Luke's with her and then go through the notes she got from her teachers that day.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So here's the next chapter. I'm still looking for a beta so anyone who'd be willing to help me, review or email me... Caro**

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2

Rory went through the massive front doors of the school and already saw her mother leaning against their Jeep with two big coffees in her hands. 'Finally someone who knows and likes me!' The first day had been horrible and she just hoped that it would at least get a little better, but the students here were all so ... so rich! Everyone had a nice car, a lot of money and their noses high up in the air. They were like dogs. Realizing immediately that she was afraid. They knew the minute she arrived in that old, beat up Jeep that she did not fit in. Of course, they knew her name, there was no one who had not heard of Lorelai Gilmore and her illegitimate daughter. And Rory felt their dislike in every glance and every snide remark.

Yes, they did not have as much money as they did but at least they had a loving relationship and even at such a young age Lorelai had been able to raise her daughter herself and even though Emily and Richard insisted on one she never wanted a nanny. The second Lorelai wanted her daughter to love her and not think of her as a distant relative who coincidentally lived in the same house.

Rory was glad she had such a mother who was more interested in her than their reputation.

But then she saw her mother and for the moment everything was forgotten.

"Hey, kiddo..." Lorelai had wanted to say more but was cut off by the hug Rory was giving her. She was holding onto her mother as if her life depended on it. When Lorelai wanted to let go of her daughter she heard a quiet "Not yet!" and she hold Rory for a little longer.

"So, tell me how was your day. Have the rich kids been bugging you?" Lorelai asked. "You have no idea! They were looking at me as if I wore the wrong clothes! We're all wearing the same uniform! And then there were these snotty, stuck up kids who didn't get my name right. They kept calling me Mary! I mean my name is very short how hard can it be to remember it?" Rory asked out of breath.

"They called you Mary? Are you serious? I can't believe they still say that. When I went to school there was a girl and we called her Mary all the time..." Lorelai said looking disbelievingly out of the window. "Why did you call her Mary?" Rory asked her mother.

She loved it when her mother talked about her past. Yes, it was painful for Lorelai but it gave Rory an insight on her mother's life and how she became the person she was today.

"We called her Mary because she looked so innocent like the Virgin Mary! We felt all grown up because we all already had had our first kiss and we knew she had never been kissed. When I think about it now it wasn't very nice of us." she concluded.

Rory never thought her mother would have made fun of another person. But it was good to know that even Lorelai Victoria Gilmore had faults it made her all the more lovable.

"And what would you have called her if she had looked all slutty and everything?" without missing a beat Lorelai answered "Mary Magdalene!". Rory started laughing. "Wow! Biblical insults ... this really is a good school, isn't it?" she asked her mother and they both started laughing. Students walking past the car were looking on surprised.

Somehow Rory knew she would make it. With the help of her mother she could do everything she wanted. Lorelai started the engine and they made their way back to Star's Hollow.

---

Finn was leaving the building and saw the new girl hugging a woman in her mid-thirties. That was probably the infamous Lorelai Gilmore who had a daughter at sixteen and was not married. Even he the Australian playboy had heard that story since he was a young boy. And this woman had been the only reason his father had ever sat down with and had father-son-talk. Well, it had been more a father-talk. "Finnegan, do whatever you want. Have sex, but use protection! There will only be one heir and it will have a mother and a father who are married is that clear? If you ever have an illegitimate child you will be disowned!" After that Finn had decided that if he ever had a family he wanted many children even if it was just to piss off his father. How dared he tell him he was allowed to have only one child?

He watched the way how intimate they were interacting with each other. It made him smile a little. He had always wished for someone to love him unconditionally like that. But his parents just loved him when he was good for their publicity. And that was only the case when he attended some charity event. Mostly they hated him because he was drunk and ended up spending the night in jail. That was not good publicity.

His thoughts abruptly stopped when he saw Rory, or Mary, take a sip of the coffee her mother had offered her. It did not look like she was drinking coffee but doing something entirely different. Suddenly, images were floating through his mind and he was thinking about how he could make her look like that.

Rory Gilmore was something special. He knew that much after just one day, the way she ignored him at lunch ... but then there were also the other guys. Finn had seen the look in their eyes. They were all players but they never had the same girls. With Rory it was different they all wanted her.

They were laughing wholeheartedly in their Jeep. He smirked and went to his own car. He would have her it would just take him a little longer than with the other girls but it would be more fun that way. A challenge was always fun. He left the parking lot and drove to his empty home his parents were in Australia visiting relatives.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's the next chapter. Thanks to my beta Laura aka Danishgirl9 and my reviewers, you are great. I own nothing at all... Caro**

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**3**

One month had passed since Rory had started Chilton. It had become more bearable. The work kept her from thinking about the other students. But every break one of the guys who hung out with Paris would be waiting at her locker to tease her. Just before this class it had been Logan Huntzberger, the unofficial king of the school. His father was the newspaper mogul Mittchum Huntzberger who had been one of Rory's role models before she started Chilton but now that she knew his son that view had changed. In her eyes Huntzberger senior had become a cold hearted society father who gave a shit about his son's life ... if Logan's behavior was any indication.

"Well, Mary how has your day been up until now?" he asked not making any room for her to get to her locker. He knew if he let her put away her things she would completely ignore him. A Huntzberger was never ignored, especially not by a girl who had no money. But she would so he had to do something against it.

"Logan, I need to get to my locker." Rory tried to push him away but he would not move a millimeter. "Logan, move! I need my things, I have a class!" she said more forcefully. He just smirked.

"Say please, Mary!"

She tried to stare him down but wasn't succeeding.

Suddenly, a voice was heard from behind her and the smirk was swiped of his face. Even though he and Paris were friends he was scared of her. That girl had a real temper. "Logan, leave her alone. We have to work on a project and she needs her things. If she doesn't have her things, we won't get an A and you know what happens then!" she said in her Paris voice. Slowly, Logan moved away from the locker and gave Rory one last smirk turned around and left. Probably to make out with his flavor of the week.

Rory opened her mouth to say something but Paris cut her off. "Don't say anything! I didn't do it for you! Now hurry up!" she said. The brunette had to hide a small smile. She and Paris had somewhat built a tentative friendship over the last month. Although neither of them would ever admit it. They had almost every class together and because Paris had the best record in school they were always paired up so that Rory could adjust better.

The blonde acknowledged the other's thirst for knowledge. Rory's hard work impressed her so she looked past the lack of money. But what was really bugging Paris was that Rory got all the attention of the guys. Even Louis, Stephanie and Madeline had noticed that and they did not like it one bit. They were already planning her downfall.

The two left to go to their next class where they would work on another project.

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Rory came home that afternoon to find Lane in her bedroom listening to loud music and dancing wildly. She just put her bag away with a shake of her head before heading to Luke's. It didn't even disturb her that her best friend was in her room acting all crazy. With a mother like Mrs. Kim she would probably do the same thing.

Well, now she needed a cup of coffee and hoped to meet her mother although meetings were rare this week because Lorelai was arranging some things for Rory's upcoming birthday which would be this Friday. Of course, Rory was completely giddy about that. She loved birthdays especially if her mom planned a surprise.

That was not the only surprise though. Yesterday, the Limo Boys, a nickname Rory had come up with since they had shown up at school in a limousine one day, were all waiting at her locker, reading cards. Apparently, they were invitations to her birthday party at the elder Gilmore's house this Friday. Her grandmother had told them last week that she wanted to throw a party for her granddaughter. Rory had thought just a few business colleagues of her grandfather's would be coming but Emily Gilmore had outdone herself again. She had invited Rory's whole class without even asking her. Of course, Lorelai thought Rory knew about this and she did not plan on correcting her mother. The relationship between Lorelai and her mother had just gotten better.

Naturally, Rory was a little afraid of the party since she didn't really know anyone from her class and she would like it better if she could just have the party that was now planned for Saturday. The whole town of Star's Hollow would be coming. It promised to be a crazy party.

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Finally, Thursday night arrived and Lorelai was shooing her daughter off to bed. "Rory, I am serious, if you don't go to bed now, I'm not coming with you to the party in hell tomorrow!" Lorelai said.

Her daughter wouldn't go to bed because she wanted to know what kind of surprises she would be getting come tomorrow. "Besides you need your beauty sleep, you're getting old." with that she left Rory alone in her bedroom. The only answer she got was an indignant "Hey!"

It took Rory at least an hour before she fell asleep. She was just dreaming about Paris ordering her around in a meeting for the Franklin, the school's paper, when her mother entered her room and pushed her a little to the side so there was room for the both of them in the small bed. Rory looked at the clock, 4:03 am it read, and knew what was coming.

"Hey, sweetie! It's your birthday. Right now you're getting sixteen years old. You know, time really flew by. Too fast if you ask me. I still remember you running around the house in your dancing dress trying to dance like Miss Patty showed you. You were so bad at it!" Lorelai said.

"Thanks mom!"

"And, it's so hard to believe that at exactly this time many moons ago I was lying in exactly this same position" her mother started her tale again.

"Oh, boy. Here we go..." this was tradition, every year Lorelai would come in at exactly the same time and tell Rory the story of her birth.

"...only I had a huge fat stomach and big fat ankles and I was swearing like a sailor..."

"On leave..." Rory threw in.

"On leave! Right! And, there I was..."

"...in labor..."

"...and, while some have called it, the most meaningful experience of your life, to me it was something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite."

"I wonder if the Waltons ever did this." Rory wondered aloud.

"And, I was screaming and swearing, and being surrounded as I was by a hundred prominent doctors, I just assumed there was an actual use for the cup of ice chips they gave me."

"There wasn't."

"No, But throwing them at the nurses sure was fun." Rory knew the story like the back of her hand. Every year she would act like she hated the story but in reality she loved it. She loved how her mother was able to make something so natural sound so interesting and funny. Yes, she loved every bit of her life. Well, maybe not the party her grandparents were throwing her tonight...


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So here's another chapter for you. Only the first part has been beta'd... I don't anything!! Review please, I love reviews!!!!! Caro**

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**4**

Time was going by too fast. At least in Rory's and Lorelai's opinion it was. They had only five minutes left until they really had to get going. Every time one of them said they had to leave there was something else they absolutely had to do before that.

"Sweetie, we really have to go now or otherwise my mother will lecture us all night for being late to your own birthday party..." Lorelai said to her daughter. Rory had been in her own little world all day and it made Lorelai worry a little, she never was this quiet.

Rory just gave her mother a small nod, took her things and headed out to their car. Hopefully her classmates would all stay at home. They did not like her and she did not really like them either so why should they bother? What she was really worried about was if they would come. With the other students she had no problem, she could probably ignore them the whole night. But **them**. They would not give up so easily. It was as if they lived to tease her but the worst thing was that she somehow was jealous of them. They were so easy going and seemed to not have a care in the world and yet they were doing well in school.

Although she would never admit out loud to her mother or any other person for that matter she wanted that as well, that carefree attitude. When she had been accepted at Chilton she had thought that feeling would diminish, that the kids there were as focused on school as she was but that had definitely not been the case. The want, the longing, the desire to be at least a little like the other kids she had already felt at Star's Hollow High was back again. She was happy with who she was but she also felt like an outsider because she was not going out on weekends and reading all the time.

Suddenly she was jerked out of her reverie by her mother driving onto the elder Gilmore's driveway and turning off the engine. They had arrived at the mansion her grandparents called home. She could never understand how they were able to find their way in that house. She was lost every time she was not in the living or the dining room.

"Come on, we need to get inside before she comes out and finds us here!" Lorelai said and opened her door. "Yeah, let's go!" was Rory's only response and they walked to the front door which was yanked open by none other than Emily Gilmore. "Finally, there you are! Not even today you two can be punctual have I taught you nothing?" She asked without really wanting to hear an answer but Lorelai could not help it, "But mom, you have taught us something, a lot of things actually. Like how to scare a servant half to death or to never…sorry," Lorelai ducked her head after receiving a death glare from her mother.

The younger woman and the girl entered the mansion with their heads bowed slightly. Yes, they were a little afraid but they would never say that aloud.

All the furniture had been moved, so that a large party could be accommodated with only a few couches left so that the guests could rest their feet. Rory wondered how many people had actually been invited to make her grandmother feel the need to have that much free space.

"Now, you two go on upstairs and get ready the guest will arrive in an hour." Emily said in that bossy tone that made Rory feel as if she was one of the many maids who did not live up to Emily Gilmore's standards.

Up in her room Rory felt her heart thumping wildly in her chest. How was she supposed to survive this night when her grandmother was already in a bad mood? And then the other students... Just then another thought crossed her mind 'What if I have to say something in front of everyone? I mean,this is Emily Gilmore we're talking about. She always expects something like that!' she drew in a shaky breath and sat down on the bed. She really did not know how to handle this night maybe she could escape through the window? No her grandmother would most likely see her climbing down and chase her all the way through the driveway. With a sigh she started getting ready.

After a while a knock startled her out of her frightening thoughts and her mother was poking her head through the crack to look at her daughter who was now sixteen years old she just could not get over the fact that time was flying by so fast. "Are you ready, honey? If you don't come down soon, I'll strangle my mother. That's a promise!" she said with a smile.

But Rory did not react to her mother's joke. She just did not feel like laughing right now.

"I'll be right there, just needed to catch my breath, this week has been so hectic..." Lorelai gazed at her daughter wondering what had changed then nodded in understanding and softly closed the door.

When Rory opened the door and heard the first guests who had arrived a little early and were now engaged in a friendly chatter with her grandparents she flinched slightly. On the inside she was screaming 'I don't want this!' but no one heard her. As she slowly moved down the stairs all eyes were on her and she felt vulnerable. Did they not know that it was impolite to stare? And then she saw them standing huddled up in a corner not really fitting into the crowd of business partners and DAR women and at the same time perfectly blending in.

The guys were smirking at her and the girls were sending death glares her way. Of course, she knew why they were looking like that. She had heard Louise and Madeline in school whispering in the restroom about how Logan had not made out with the blonde in such a long time. Since Rory had arrived at Chilton and had Finn's and the rest of the guy's attention to be exact.

Finally, she was distracted by her grandmother who took her hand and ushered her into the living room where her mother was waiting for her. "Rory, you look absolutely beautiful, dear!" Emily told her smiling wildly.

Rory felt out of place, she knew no one except for her family and some of her classmates although she never had had a real conversation with any of them.

"Thanks, Grandma!" She was introduced to so many people that she had already forgotten the names of half of them and her grandmother was making her feel more uncomfortable when she ushered Rory to the library to 'associate' with the other students.

When Emily had left her there standing in the door looking at all the people there she saw two boys looking at her funnily. She did not know why though and her confusion grew when they started whispering to each other. Suddenly, she felt a presence behind her and someone leaning in closely so that they could murmur something in her ear.

"You look beautiful, Mary! But, you know, you would look even better without this dress." she had turned her head and looked Finn directly in the eyes. Why was he doing this to her? **How** could he do this to her? She hated him with every fiber of her being and yet she could not stop the butterflies from fluttering in her stomach every time he looked at her with those eyes and that smirk.

Her eyes had turned wide when he said that. But Rory quickly regained her composure and only said "Very charming, Finn!" turned around and left the library just to run into Emily again. Naturally, she had seen the smirks on the guys' faces when Finn had uttered those words to her.

"Now, Rory, dear, all the guests have arrived and now you have to say a few words. Thank them and everything."

"What? Grandma, no!"

"Rory, come now this is your birthday party, they are your guests and you need to thank them!" Emily said getting irritated. But she was not the only one. Rory felt the anger building up inside of her and she just could not stop the words that were flowing freely now.

"No, Grandma! This is your party, I never wanted this! We've been planning a party in Star's Hollow with all of my friends, with everyone who knows me. These people here don't even know me, they know you and grandpa and they came because they felt obligated to." she knew she had started to ramble but she did not care. The people around them were starting to stare.

"And you know what? I don't even like the kids from my school and you just invited them without even asking me!" with that Rory ran off to her mother's old room and locked the door behind her.

She sat on the bed and a lone tear made its way down her cheek. She had not meant to blow up like that, she just felt so frustrated with everything.

Unexpectedly, the bed dipped down and someone sat down beside her. Rory looked to her side and saw Finn sitting there. Just looking at him, she did not understand why or how he had come there. But she did not care, she just wanted to be alone. "Finn, please, I'm not in the mood..."

"Mary..." he began but was cut off by her mumbling something. "What did you say?"

"I said don't call me that!" her voice was on the verge of breaking. She had gotten up and went over to the window. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you with your friends downstairs? Why did you come up here?" she asked.

Finn was just looking at her. He had meant what he had said earlier, she was beautiful, absolutely breathtaking. He did not know himself what he was doing there. He had wandered through the house in search of something to occupy his mind. He had had a talk with his father again. He was told which courses to take next semester to be properly prepared for college and taking over his father's business. It annoyed him to no end, he did not want to enter the hotel business.

And then there was Rory. She had a hold over him no girl ever had had. With every rejection he just wanted her more.

"I was looking for something but I don't know what." he said and stepped up behind her. She felt his breath on her neck and her heart was beating wildly in her chest. She smelled of coffee and vanilla. That smell was so intoxicating.

"Rory..." Finn said. Slowly, she turned around not thinking that he would be so close. Her blue eyes were looking up at him and he nearly got lost in them as his head moved deliberately down to hers. He heard her gasp and suddenly they were kissing, it was nothing intense just a simple kiss and yet it was blowing their minds.

As his lips left hers she gazed up at him her eyes wide with disbelief and then she was gone leaving him standing there not knowing what had just happened.

Rory ran down to her mother and stayed beside her for the rest of the evening which was not very long because Emily was not in a good mood to say the least and the guests did not want to stay any longer.

In the car Lorelai started the inquisition. "So, Rory, that was quite a show you gave there. She really invited the other students without asking you first? That's low even for Emily Gilmore..." Rory was just looking out of the window. "Rory, please, talk to me, tell me what happened that made you like this..."

"Mom, I'm happy, I just feel like there's something missing in my life. Please let's just not talk about it, okay? Not for now at least."

They spend the rest of the ride in silence the only sound coming from the radio.

She was happy when she finally could flop down on her bed and go to sleep. She only hoped tomorrow would distract her a little from everything that had happened today...


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So here's the next chapter, we laern a little more about Finn. So, no meeting monday at school, sorry to disappoint you. This chapter hasn't been beta'd thanks to Danishgirl9 anyways. I own nothing, except for Drew. Thanks to reviewers, of course, and keep them coming... ;) Caro**

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**5**

This had been the best birthday party ever. All of Star's Hollow had been there and she just felt happy. She was even able to forget what had happened the night before and just enjoy the party.

And she had made up with her grandmother when she and Richard had arrived at the 'crap shack'. Afterwards she had gotten a special gift. On her last day at Star's Hollow High a new student arrived there. Just as she wanted to get the box with her belongings out of the school she ran into him. He was tall and handsome to say the least. Rory later learned that his name was Dean, Dean Forrester and he originally was from Chicago.

She thought he was cute with his floppy hair and his green eyes and he thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Immediately, he fell under her spell just like every other boy before and after him did. He wanted to ask her out he just needed to wait for the right time. To him this perfect time was her birthday, to Rory it was the worst time he could have picked.

Yes, she was happy about the bracelet he made for her but she did not think that Dean would take that as a sign to ask her out. She was so baffled that she could only nod her head and see him walking away with a huge grin plastered on his face.

How the hell was she supposed to get out of this? Of course, she liked him but at the moment she was so confused. First Finn, then the kiss which was totally unexpected and now Dean... Dean had asked her on a date! Somehow, her love life which was non-existent before had spiraled out of control since she had started Chilton.

---

God, what had he done. Why the bloody hell had he kissed her? He never made the first move, he was such a charmer that in the end always the girls were practically pouncing on him and begging him to kiss them. He never put himself on the line like that. It was the fear of rejection. That fear had been confirmed now.

It had been his constant companion since he was a child. 'Never let anyone close, for they will surely reject you!' That was a lesson he had to learn very early. His parents did not care enough and his nannies cared too much although it was not them who rejected him but his father who fired them when he saw them play some silly game with Finn.

Yes, he had suffered a lot under his parents when he was a child but it had gotten worse now that he was older and after **it** had happened. All the time he had had his big brother who was looking out for him. Drew had been the heir to the Morgan family name and Finn was just the drunken mistake they had made one night. They made sure he knew that.

But his brother had not been like that. He was the only person who had ever shown Finn what it felt like to be loved. But everything had changed when Finn had been fourteen and Drew had just turned seventeen. His parents had gotten Drew a late birthday present. A Mustang, a car they both had dreamed about. Their parents had even allowed them to drive to school with it, Drew had his driver's license for a year now after all.

It had been a good day to drive and the two teens had been so excited. Finn was just tuning through the radio stations and did not look ahead. He heard Drew scream and the next thing he knew was that he was waking up in a hospital bed, Logan sitting beside him.

Finn knew immediately that something must have been really wrong. Logan's eyes were red from crying, he had never seen his friend cry.

"What happened?" he wanted to sound confident, but his voice was breaking. Logan swallowed hard this was the hardest thing he ever had had to do. Tristan and Colin were outside waiting. The girls did not want to come, they were too confused.

"You and Drew were ... in an accident. Another driver lost control of his car but they don't know why... Well, he changed the lane and was coming directly at you. Drew tried to get out of his way but you hit a tree instead." Logan was taking a deep breath. Finn knew what his best friend was going to say next but he did not want to hear it. A lonely tear escaped his eye and ran over his cheek. "Finn, I'm so sorry, they couldn't do anything..." Finn had turned his head the other way.

It felt like his heart was being ripped out. His brother was dead and he could do nothing against it. "Where are my parents?" Finn asked. Why they were not here with their only child left he did not know. "They are at home, your mother had a nervous breakdown and your father is taking care of her. Your father comes every day and asks your doctors how you are doing..." Logan answered.

Finn knew they were mourning, they were hurting as much as he was in this moment, if not even more. They knew longer. But at the same time he was angry with them. For once in his life he wanted them to be there with him. He was the only child they had left and yet they were thinking about themselves.

"I want to be alone, right now, Logan, tell the others to go home and don't worry about me!" he said it with such finality that Logan could only nod his head and leave.

Finally, the tears were spilling. He just could not stop them and when a nurse entered to look after him he screamed at her. An hour later his doctor came to him to see if he could go home in a few days, other than being out for a few days nothing had been wrong with him. They had already wondered why he did not wake up.

Finn did not want to go home and when his father came to visit him that afternoon, he refused to see him. He had never been there for him so why should he bother now?

Two days later, Colin and Tristan picked him up and drove him to the funeral. There had been a mass of people, all of them in black, even the umbrellas they used to protect themselves with from the rain were black. Of course, it had been raining that day, mirroring Finn's mood. But he had learned a long time ago to never let his guard down in front of strangers and most of the people attending were strangers to him. He had lost bits of his memory after the accident even some which were a long time ago.

A fleeting thought passed his mind. 'This isn't what he would have wanted! He would have wanted us to celebrate his life!' he made sure not to forget to throw a party for his brother's life in a few weeks.

Finn, had stayed behind at the graveyard with his friends who had promised to bring him home. Although the ground was wet and dirty and would ruin his suit, he knelt down in front of the tombstone. He wanted to be close to his brother one last time.

"Andrew Michael Morgan, 1981 – 1998, beloved son and brother" he read out loud. The pain Finn felt in his chest was not only emotional but physical as well and he started to cry silently, the sobs wrecking his body. The girls had been in the background all the time. But now Paris was heading towards Finn, Logan tried to stop her but she just shook her head. She knelt beside him and put her arms around his neck, resting his head on her shoulder and he broke down completely. Even Paris had tears running down her cheeks now. Finn had always been her best friend out of the group and it hurt her so much to see him like this, not the confident, exotic boy she met when she was six.

After that Finn fell into a deep depression. He began to drink and go out even at the age of fourteen. The guys were always tagging along trying to show him he was not alone.

Then it started with the girls. He never was rejected by any of them. Eighteen months later he nearly had had every girl in Chilton, except for **his** girls ... he would never touch **them**. He swore that when he changed, because they deserved someone so much better than him, he could not give them emotionally what they deserved and so he stayed away.

The other girls though, he did not care about them. But still he was afraid to be rejected by them and that is why he never made the first move.

He had changed and built a wall, sometimes his friends were able to glance through it, to outsiders he seemed to be the old Finn, but they knew better.

And now he ruined it with Rory, his so well built wall would come tumbling down now when she would never talk to him again. This time he cared and he did not know why, it was the first time he felt something like this for a person who had not been there for him before the accident. It scared him, he wanted to run and hide in a dark corner.

Why did she have to come into his life? Why could she not just stay where she had been? It would have been so much easier for him, but who ever said life was easy?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, here's the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait... It's the monday-morning-meeting! I'm not very happy with this chapter but I needed to get it out. I own nothing as always... Caro**

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**6**

She definitely, really did not want to go to school today. She did not even want to leave her house, she wanted to hide forever. Hide from Dean, hide from Finn, even hide from her mom. For the last twenty-four hours her bedroom had become her sanctuary, she just left it in order to get coffee and something to eat.

Lorelai had tried to talk to her but Rory always pretended to be asleep, she did not understand what was happening, how was she supposed to explain it to her mother? And that was everything her mother wanted from her, an explanation.

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. Rory just turned around and pretended to hear nothing. She groaned inwardly when she heard the door creak open and a person entered without her permission.

The bed sank down gently where the person sat and Rory started to get frustrated. She wanted to be alone and she had told her mother so repeatedly last night. The person just sat there and waited. Finally, Rory turned around to tell her mother that she was sick but instead of her mother she came face to face with Lane.

"Hey, you're awake..." it sounded like an accusation. An accusation Rory did not want to hear. She knew she had been a terrible best friend these last few days and weeks. But that did not mean that she would admit it. "Lorelai said you weren't feeling too well since your party. She knows that's not true and I know it as well. So do you want to tell me what's bothering you?" Lane asked.

"I can't tell you..." Rory said.

"Why? Is it a big secret your best friend is not allowed to know?" another accusation.

"I, myself, don't understand it how am I supposed to explain it to you or mom!" well that was a little harsh. But Rory really was not in the mood for this.

"Oh... okay, then I'll just go... you apparently need to think about some things." Lane said and got up to leave the room. "Just call me when you've figured everything out!" and with that she left Rory to ponder over everything.

With a groan she sat up. She could not spend another day in bed. Besides she had to write a test in her first class. She already felt guilty for not going to school when she was sick and now she did not want to go because of some personal problems? No way.

Rory Gilmore just did not skip school that was a fact.

Reluctantly, she got out of bed and started to get ready for school, she had feeling that this would be the worst day in her life so far.

--

Rory stood before the entrance of the school. When she had arrived she had seen Finn and Tristan entering the school, Finn laughing wholeheartedly as if nothing had happened this past weekend. It bugged her that he could act so nonchalantly when she was nearly having a nervous breakdown because of this.

She wanted to run up to him and scream at him for doing this to her and at the same time she wanted to kiss him again and never let go. Of course, she had felt the attraction since he came to her in the cafeteria but her mother had warned her of guys like him. They only wanted one thing and Rory was not willing to give that up for some random guy.

She was just about to start walking really fast in order to catch up with him when a pretty blonde she had never seen before came up to him and he put his arm around her shoulder.

Rory was frozen to the spot. She could not comprehend how someone could kiss a girl and then be so 'friendly' with another. She knew before that he was a player and yet this confused her to no end.

During lunch she sat alone at a table when one of her teachers came up to her and told her she was expected in the headmaster's office.

--

"Miss Gilmore, I have asked you here because it has come to my attention that you are not a very social person. Your teachers have told me that you almost always work on your own, eat lunch on your own and you socialize just as much as you have to. I have to tell that such behavior is not a good point on your application to Harvard. Good grades alone will not get you there, you have to show that you are a competent person in every aspect of your life." Charleston told her.

Rory sat there dumbfounded. She did not socialize enough? But that was just because the people here were all stuck up, snobby, little, rich kids.

"So, to change this I expect you to participate in school activities and build some friendships here. You are not going to Star's Hollow High anymore, this is different. Well, that was all, Miss Gilmore, I will see you again in two months to see what progress you made." with that he dismissed her.

She left the office and made her way to her locker still thinking about what Charleston had said to her. How dare he tell hell to befriend these people who always made her feel like she was beneath them. She tried to open her locker but the stupid thing would not budge. She knew it was a bad idea to go to school today and she had not even talked to Finn yet. She wanted to scream at her locker, maybe that would help...

"You need help there, love?" a voice said from behind her.

'No, no, no, go away I don't want to talk to you now!' Rory thought, there was only one guy going to Chilton with that accent and he was not her favorite person right now.

She did not turn around or acknowledged his presence in any way except for the fact that she did not try to open her locker anymore. She tried with all her willpower to make him go away but he did not move an inch. She would have known if he did he was standing so close.

"Love, are you alright?" he asked, his voice concerned. Why was she not moving? She was making him feel afraid. No girl had ever reacted the way she did now and he had no idea how to handle it.

"Don't call me that!" she whispered. She had wanted to scream that at him but it seemed that in his presence she could not speak louder than a whisper.

"What?" now he was the confused one.

"I said don't call me that!" she told him as she turned around. She tried to avoid his gaze but was not able to. His eyes were captivating, holding her like they did that first day in the cafeteria and she could not help but stare. "Don't call me 'love'! I am not your love, I don't know you!" she said.

"But I'd like to get to know you, doesn't that count, Rory?" he asked using her real name.

"How can it count with your reputation? I'm not that kind of girl and I never will be. I was perfectly fine until you came along and couldn't leave me alone. And now I'm beyond confused." she had started to ramble but she did not care she just turned and left him standing there staring after her.

"I confuse you? And what exactly are you doing to me, Miss Gilmore?" he said to himself.

Yes, this was definitely the worst day in history...


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: There's the next chapter. Thanks to all my reviewers and keep them coming. Caro **

**7**

Two weeks. For two weeks now she had avoided Finn as best she could. And she definitely had to congratulate herself for that.

But then there was her other problem.

Dean.

To avoid him was not as easy as she had thought. He would be waiting at the bus stop for her every single day and she could not hide from him anymore. He would take her bag and follow her home always asking her when she would go out with him. And she always had the same answer for him.

"I don't know, Dean. There's just so much to do for school and everything. I'll tell you when I have time." he would just nod at her and the next day he would ask the same damn question again.

She slowly started to question his sanity. She told him she did not know when she would be free again and he just ignored that. Maybe he thought that was charming? To run after a girl and to keep bugging her.

She really did not know what to do...

--

Rory was just walking down the street with her mother. Lorelai was thinking she was ill again and apparently needed fruit. Rory always thought that she liked fruit in secret and was just looking for an excuse to get to eat some.

They heard a motorbike driving around Star's Hollow which was weird because no one who lived there had one.

"Those hooligans driving around and making such noise!" they heard Taylor say as he came he out of the supermarket. Rory could hear how her mother gave Taylor some stupid answer but did not really listen to the conversation they were having. Something was weird about this.

Her mother was dragging her along again. When had the two of them stopped talking?

Suddenly, someone from behind them called "Nice shirt!" to her mother who turned her head thanked the man and then kept on walking. But apparently the man was not done yet.

"Take it off!" he said. Lorelai turned around, she was shocked to say the least. She knew the man from somewhere and she had a nagging suspicion who it was. No one else would dare to say something like that. He took off his helmet when she narrowed her eyes.

"Christopher!" she said and smiled a little. She was happy to see him but was also weary as to why he was in Star's Hollow all of a sudden. He had never been there to see them just like that, they only saw him on holidays and things like that. And he never had been to Star's Hollow before.

Rory, on the other hand, was ecstatic to see him. All her worries about Finn and Dean had been washed away with Christopher's appearance and she was just happy to see him after such a long time.

"Dad!" she yelled as she ran towards him and jumped into his arms.

"Hey, Rory, Lorelai..." he greeted them. He held onto Rory for a little longer until he let her down gently. "Hop on, kid, I'll give you a ride!" he motioned to his bike.

"Hop off!" came from Lorelai, she did not want Rory to get onto that bike.

"Hop on!" Christopher insisted.

"Hop off!"

"Lorelai, come on!" he started to whine. Lorelai was not able to resist Rory with her big pleading eyes and Christopher who had nearly the same look on his face.

"Hop on..." she gave in. But that did not mean that she was happy with it.

--

"He looks good, doesn't he? I like his hair shorter..." Rory said excitedly as she was turning the couch into a pile out of blankets.

"Yes, yes, shorter is better. Rory, sweetie, don't get so excited about this. You know he's coming and going the way he likes. Don't get your hopes too high, it will hurt so much more when he's leaving again." Lorelai tried to reason with her daughter.

"No, he told me he wouldn't leave again, he wants to come back to Hartford to live there and visit us more often." Rory answered. She was not only trying to convince her mother though but also herself. Her father had let her down too often in the past for her to believe him this easily.

"That shower must have been the worst I've ever had! The pressure's changing every two minutes! I'll have a look at it tomorrow." Christopher was coming down the stairs a towel around his neck trying to dry his hair.

"You won't touch my shower, mister!" was Lorelai's only reply.

"Well, I still have a little studying left to do before the food arrives. I'll just be in my room." Rory excused herself and left the two adults alone in the living room.

"She's a great kid, Lor!" he said.

"Yeah, I know!"

--

It was the next day when Emily Gilmore had the brilliant idea to have Christopher and his parents over for dinner. Well, it did not need a genius to know what would happen that night. Lorelai had a bad feeling about this since her mother told her about it.

And as she had predicted, it was the worst night in a long time. Old wounds were opened and her little girl had been attacked by her 'grandfather' and thought of herself as a mistake now. The damage was done and she was left to pick up the pieces.

After that night Christopher told them that he had to get back to California to his business, his promise to Rory long forgotten.

To say that the youngest Lorelai was devastated was the understatement of the year.

But Rory did not let her sadness show when she bid her father goodbye again. She should have been used to this by now, but still it hurt so much. She should have listened to her mother.

The two Gilmore Girls had been talking again since his arrival but Rory still had not told her mother anything about Dean or Finn for that matter and all of this started to weigh down on her.

But this feeling was nothing compared to what she felt on Monday in school when she stood in front of her locker.

There on a white piece of paper stood in big bold letters "Rory Gilmore: the mistake of the century".

Normally, she would have let it pass but now it was just too much. She looked around to see if she could find the person responsible for this and then she saw Paris and Louise coming towards her.

"You know, Straub and Francine are my godparents and they told me what they really thought of Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter the other night. They're not even sure if you're really their granddaughter and that you should have never been born. Lorelai and Christopher had such a bright future ahead of them and you ruined it..." Louise said to her.

Rory felt the tears running down her cheeks. So many people thought she was not allowed to live. Maybe they were right? Maybe she was the biggest mistake there was, even though her mother and grandparents tried to tell her otherwise. She sometimes thought so as well.

She crumbled to the floor and let the tears flow freely. She let it all out, all those pent up emotions from the last weeks came out all at once and she could do nothing against it. She felt how someone picked her up and led her away but she could not see who it was. The only thing she saw were the shocked faces of Paris and Louise who had not expected such a reaction. They had thought she would throw a small fit , yell at them for a while and then ignore them. Never did they think she would have this kind of breakdown.

Yes, life was sometimes really cruel...


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here's the next chapter, I hope some things get clearer. I don't own anything! And I absolutely love your reviews and I want more of them. Enjoy! Caro**

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**8**

"Rory!" the person leading her away said but the girl did not react in any way. The tears just kept flowing down her cheeks. "Rory, look at me!" he said a little more forcefully than he intended. But he did get her to look at him.

She could not believe how they could do this to her. She never did anything to them and yet they could not ignore her the way she wanted them to. No, they had to hurt her. She never thought she could hurt so much and here she was crying in the arms of some guy she probably did not even like.

She knew those feelings she felt now very well, they had always been there with her and although they had never come forth they had been there, nagging at the back of her mind and eating her up inside. It had just been a question of time until they would finally show themselves with so much force that she could do nothing against them.

She wanted to stop crying, she did not want to show any more weakness to these animals she called her classmates. But she could not stop the tears, it was as if she had no control over her body whatsoever.

Finally, she looked up at the person who had brought her into a quiet classroom, away from the mob. At first, she thought her eyes were deceiving her. It had to be someone else, he would never stand up for her against his friends.

"Rory, please stop crying." it was obvious he was not at ease with the situation, actually it was freaking him out but he could not let her know that. He had to find some way to calm her down.

She was staring at him with her big blue eyes one was not able to resist. He wanted to kiss her and take away all the pain she felt at the moment but he knew his best friend had fallen for her...even though Finn had not fully realized it yet.

"Tristan, what are you doing?" she asked. 'Finally!' he thought. "Shouldn't you be out there making fun of me with your friends?" Now it was not just hurt anymore, the anger about what they did came slowly bubbling up. She felt it rise and frantically tried to stop it. She knew Tristan would be at the receiving end of her rant although she did not want him to be. He had helped her to get out of there.

"What, isn't there a reason you're here? Trying to make more fun of me? I'll tell you what. Yes, my parents were sixteen when I was born and they didn't marry. The Haydens say I'm a mistake but you know they're the mistakes. They wanted to force my mother to abort me in secret so no one would know what kind of irresponsible son they had. But I'm glad my mother didn't listen to them. She kept me and raised me the best way possible. At least, I have a relationship with one of my parents and my grandparents, they love me and that's enough! Who needs snobby, rich kids who don't even know what it's like to work for the things you want? I don't that's for sure..." she was out of breath. She could talk fast and much but that was nearly too much, even for her. But it had not really helped, the tears were still flowing fast, if not even faster than before.

He looked shocked to say the least. He had not expected such an outburst. He did not even think she could talk this much or this loud for that matter. She was always the quiet one. He should have known. It was always the quiet ones who could shock you the most.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you, you didn't do anything wrong. Well, at least not today." she said with a small smile. But that quickly vanished when she saw the frown on his face.

"I've been an ass, haven't I?" he asked. He looked like a lost little boy when he said that. "Rory, it's never been my intention for this to happen." he was waving his hands in the general direction of her locker.

"You know, it's like kindergarten really. The others, I mean the boys, and I we liked you from the beginning and, well, we knew no other way. It's like tugging at your hair and throwing dirt at you. Teasing and bugging you was our way to show that we wanted to be your friends. And I think that was partly the reason why this happened." Again the gesture towards the hall.

She was staring at him like he had grown a second head. What was he doing? She wanted to dislike him for all eternity but he was making it incredibly hard to do so. He was so nice. Helping her like that.

"The girls, they...they're not used to other girls who take away our attention from them. They probably felt threatened by you, don't tell the others they would kill me if they knew I told you this. You were our main topic for the last few weeks." he gave her a smile. A true smile she had never seen on him before. It suited him well, he did not look like an arrogant jerk so much. Maybe he would change a little and not annoy her so much anymore.

"They felt threatened by me? They are beautiful, popular and rich, the shouldn't be afraid of the bookworm!" she could not understand that.

"Don't you see, Rory? Your arrival here at Chilton changed us all. You have an influence on the people around you and you don't even know it." he had started pacing. "You captivated us. With your innocence, your beauty and your intelligence. And there's no turning back for us and maybe I could get the girls to apologize." he offered.

She smiled at him, the last tears still glistening on her cheeks. Slowly, he raised his hand and started to wipe away the last remains of the salty drops with his thumb. Rory did not know why she let him touch her like that but it felt nice. An image of Finn came to her mind, she thought about what it would feel like if he would caress her the way Tristan now did.

Just then the door burst open and a concerned looking Finn entered the classroom. How did that saying go? Right 'Speaking of the Devil' though in this case it was more like 'Thinking of the Devil'.

Tristan's hand was still busy wiping away her tears. 'Not a good position to be seen in' was Tristan's first thought when he saw his best friend.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything!" Finn said, his tone bitter as he turned around again. He wanted to leave and never see those two again. Before, he had not really seen a chance for them but there had still been hope. And now it was all gone, it seemed as if she had made her choice. She had chosen his best friend. It felt like nothing he had ever felt before but that was nothing new with Rory Gilmore.

She fell for Tristan. That must have been the reason why she had avoided him.

"Finn, stop!" Tristan tried to say but the Australian was gone already. "Shit, shit, shit!" he cursed, how could he have been so stupid? Finn would never forgive him because he would never listen to him, he was just too damn stubborn.

Rory could only stand there and look on. She had been too shocked by the look on Finn's face when he had seen them standing so close. It was something she had never seen before and she had trouble placing the look. She recognized the hurt but there was something else, not directed towards her but towards Tristan.

She was jerked out of her thoughts when she heard him say "I'm sorry!" and running out the door as well, leaving her standing her there all by herself.

She had to get out of this classroom, too. She could not show any more weaknesses. She had to show them that she that they did not get to her.

Oh, to hell with it all. How was she supposed to do that? They had gotten to her and there was no way she could convince them of the opposite.

Just when she had made up her mind to go out there and ignore them all, the door opened again and Louise and Paris entered the room. They avoided Rory's gaze at all costs and looked at everything else. As if the blackboard or the chairs held the answers to all of their questions.

"What do you want?" it had come out before Rory thought it about it. She had wanted them to make the first step. To say that they were wrong.

"We..." Paris started. She could not get the words out. She was too proud to say that she made a mistake even though she knew she did.

Normally, Louise was not much better but when she saw her friend could not say the words she took over.

"We" she started and took a deep breath. "We're sorry for what we did it was totally out of line." she looked Rory in the eye and saw just how much she had hurt the girl who never did anything to deserve something like this.

"We wanted to get to you because you never react to us in any way, you just ignore us. You look like the birds help you getting dressed in the morning and as if you didn't have a care in the world...I think we just got jealous of you." she finished.

Rory stood there amazed. Never would she have thought that two of the most popular girls in the school would come to her and apologize for something they did.

"Jealous? Of me? Are we talking about the same person here? I should be jealous of you, you guys have everything." she answered.

Paris smiled a bitter smile. "You really are a Mary. You think we have everything? I think every single person in this school is jealous of Rory Gilmore. Don't look so shocked!" she said as she saw Rory's disbelieving gaze.

"Yes, we have everything, but you...you can have anything you want from life. You can be whatever you want to be. We've always been pushed into one direction by our parents. Go to school, go to college and then have a good job. Well, only the guys have that. We have to finish college as well but once we're married we're gonna be trophy wives and join the DAR."

Rory could not believe it. Here she was thinking they did not have a care in the world and now Paris had proved her wrong. That was what her mother always tried to show her. Money brought privileges but you also had to keep up appearances if you wanted to stand a chance in your part of society. That was what Lorelai had run from and now Rory had entered this world without so much as a glance backwards.

"Well," Louise started again. "We just came to apologize. We took the sign off and destroyed it. No one will bother you with this again." she and Paris wanted to turn around and leave but Rory called them back.

"What made you change your mind? I mean, why did you apologize so shortly after?" she asked.

"We saw the look in your eyes. We saw what we felt every day. Pain. Just pure pain of a situation you have no control over. It's not your fault your parents were so young when they had you or that your father had never been there for you. Besides, Finn was just a little upset with us... He screamed at us for doing this to you. We haven't seen him this compassionate about anything in a long time and when he asked us to apologize to you we did it." Paris answered after much contemplation.

Rory smiled at them reassuringly. "Thanks."

This was not over yet, it would take them a long time to get over this, all of them. But Rory was hopeful that everything would get better now that they had talked for the first time. They had started to understand each other.

"We have to go now..." Louise said and smiled back at her and left with Paris trailing behind.

Rory was picking up her bag when someone knocked on the door the two girls had left open. When she looked up she saw Finn standing there, hands in his pockets and balancing back and forth on his feet.

She smiled at him. She wanted to give him a chance, Tristan had been nice to her, Paris and Louise had apologized and he had urged them to do so.

"Hey!" she said. She could not think of anything else to say to him. They had never had a real conversation, it had always been him teasing her and her trying to avoid him.

"Hello, love!" he answered. "So, they apologized?"

"Yes, they did. They just left, actually."

"Love...I hope you'll forgive us one day. We never meant any real harm, we just wanted to bug you." he smiled sheepishly.

She nodded her head in understanding.

"Why did you run away like that when you saw Tristan and me standing here? You didn't interrupt anything, he was just taking care of me." she told him.

"Yeah, he told me so. I think I overreacted a little. So, doll, how about we get out of here for the rest of the day and I'll get you a coffee." he said.

"That's mean you know my weakness and yet I do not know yours!" she smiled. Was she flirting with him? Well, she just knew that it felt nice.

"I thought my weakness was pretty obvious, love." was his only reply as he looked her in the eye.

"Thanks, Finn! For everything!" she said.

He held out his hand for her and bowed, trying to lighten the mood a little, and said "Shall we, milady?"

"Yes, kind sir, we shall!" with that she took his hand and they left.

At least, the day was getting better, something she had not thought possible half an hour ago...


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Again a new chapter. Sorry for the long wait but this time of the year is really busy. I own nothing and I want reviews, I'm like Audrey II in 'The Little Shop of Horrors' who wants to be fed, so REVIEW. Happy New Year to everyone who reads this story... Caro**

**9**

It was nice sitting here with him, having him entertain her. He was telling her of the pranks he and his friends had pulled in the past and she could not remember the last time she had laughed so much.

He was a great person, she could see that now but she could not really get into it. Yes, it felt nice to flirt with him. But she felt that she could not trust him with her heart and that he would crush it into tiny little pieces that could never be put together again.

'I'm probably just another notch on his bedpost anyway!' was the only real thought that kept replaying during their time at the café. And it scared her to death. He made her feel things she had never felt before.

Of course, talking to Dean was nice but there never was this spark she felt between herself and Finn.

"And then, we took all of the basketballs and hid them somewhere secret. No one has found them until today. The coach went ballistic, he knew we took them but he just couldn't prove it." he told her.

He was telling the story with so much enthusiasm that she could not help being swept away by his tale.

She leaned over the table and whispered to him. "And where exactly did you hide them?" she did it again, she was flirting with him.

"Well, kitten, if I told you, I'd have to kill you and I wouldn't want to kill a beautiful young heiress such as yourself. Not only would the police be after me, I could deal with them. But all of Hartford's high society would be as well and they're like hyenas, one can never escape them!" he whispered back. He had leaned over the table as well, so that their faces were only inches apart.

Normally, she would have felt uncomfortable. She did not like it very much when people entered her personal space. Yet with him it felt natural, like they should never be in another position.

"You know, love, I'd really like to kiss you right now but I'm afraid you'll run again and I think my ego couldn't live with that." he muttered, his breath soft on her face.

She had to smile a little at this, he could turn the most serious conversation into something funny. She wanted to desperately hold his gaze but found herself unable to. His eyes were too intense, they held too many emotions and she could not decipher one of them.

His eyes flickered down to her lips. Maybe he should risk it and see where it would lead. But he was scared that she would shut him out completely after that and the fact that she was not saying anything did not help the matter very much.

He leaned in closer until their noses were almost touching trying to get a reaction out of her. Her blue eyes came back to rest on his.

"Finn..." that was all he needed to hear and in an instant his lips were on hers. Soft and gentle, something she would not have expected from him. She thought now he would be more demanding now after the hesitation in their first kiss.

She could not hear the noises of the bustling café anymore, all coherent thought left her and she could only concentrate on how wonderful his lips felt against hers. She wanted this moment to last forever because she knew that once the kiss ended they had to go back to their normal lives. They were too different to even think about building some sort of relationship.

Finn was not even the relationship kind of guy. He had a new girl every week. And she? Until her birthday party she had never been kissed. She needed more than this, she needed the perfect first boyfriend and not the greatest player of the school.

They slowly broke away although they were reluctant to do so. The real world came crashing down on them, the bustling sounds of the café, people ordering their drinks and talking animatedly with each other.

She looked beautiful to him like that, just coming back down to earth and a small smile on her lips.

"That was good!" was her only comment, still smiling at him, she did not want to think of later, she wanted to think about this moment and not any further because that would just ruin it.

He chuckled slightly at that, he had thought the same.

"So, love, as I see you're not running and that is really helping me and my ego!" she had to laugh at this. "And, well, now that we know we really can do that, I think we should go on a date this weekend." and so the smile faded.

There it was, the future she dreaded so much and could not avoid.

"Finn, we... I can't! I want something you cannot give me. Don't get me wrong that kiss was amazing and I would love to have more of them but I need commitment and you're not really known for your long lasting relationships." she whispered. They were still sitting so close to each other.

Rory could see how his smile turned into a pained expression and she could not understand why, surely she could be nothing more than all the other girls he dated.

He felt his lungs constrict and breathing became difficult. He could not believe that after that kiss she would not even go on a date with him. Had she been somewhere else? That kiss had meant something.

He searched her eyes. He saw so many emotions swirling in those blue eyes, he did not really know what he was looking for but then he found it.

"You're afraid..." he uttered. "You're afraid, I'll hurt you, that you'll be nothing more than all those other girls."

Her eyes grew wide, how could he read her like an open book? This was their first real conversation and suddenly he seemed to know her deepest secrets.

"I...I don't...can't... I have to go!" she was running again. She threw some coins on the table and hurried out.

His heart felt like it would break his chest, it hurt so much. This was what he had feared, this is why he did not want to get involved with her in the first place but she kept tugging him closer until he had no way out anymore.

He threw some money on the table as well, entirely too much but at the moment he did not really care. He needed to get out of there fast and he needed a drink, a strong one that would make him forget this horrible day.

--

Before, she loved to go to school, to expand her knowledge and hear about great people and their accomplishments. But today was a day where she did not feel like that. And it was not first time in the last few weeks but she got up nevertheless.

Maybe a cup of coffee would help, maybe then the day would seem a little brighter. But even the elixir of life did not help her today and that was entirely his fault. How could he do this? Making her want to kiss him all the time although she knew she just could not. They lived in two different worlds.

A Jewish saying popped into her mind. "The bird and the fish can fall in love. But where do they build their nest?" she whispered.

She stopped in her track out of the bus. Did she just say 'fall in love'? She could not fall in love with him, that was out of the question. The people behind her were getting impatient.

"Hey, miss, you're getting off this bus this year. Some of us need to be somewhere."an old man with gray hair said harshly.

Rory got off the bus still in a trance. No, she was just confused that was all. She took a deep breath and made her way over to the school thinking about the hurt look on his face when she said no the day before.

Arriving at her locker she noticed that something was different, something was amiss, no someone was amiss. Nobody was standing at her locker waiting for her. No one trying to tease her. That was odd.

A thought entered her mind. 'That is what you wanted from the beginning, to be left alone...' Now she was not so sure anymore. She had grown accustomed to them over the last months and in some twisted way she cherished their attention.

She went to her first class accompanied by a feeling of loneliness. After all they put her through she apparently still needed them. They showed her a whole new world and now that she had had a taste of it she never wanted to miss it again although that would be against everything her mother ever told her.

Suddenly, she stopped. She felt as if she ran against a wall. There he was leaning against his locker, kissing a beautiful redhead. It was the first time she saw him like this in a few weeks. She wanted to scream at him for proving her right she had hoped that he would show that he could be different.

All her hopes had been smashed with this kiss she had to witness.

Apparently the bird had flown away and found another bird to occupy his mind.

And through all this she wished she was the girl in his arms, that he would kiss her again like he did yesterday.

They were coming up for air when he glanced in her direction. Their eyes locked and reflected the hurt and rejection they both felt in that moment.

Maybe she should go on that date with Dean, he seemed really nice just like the perfect first boyfriend should...


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So, per request by all of you I updated as humanly possible (well as humanly possible in my case ;)). I own nothing and I want at least 8 reviews for this chapter because then I have 100 reviews for my first story ever and that is just amazing... Thanks to everyone!!! Caro**

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**10**

She was bored. So much that she wanted to strangle herself with her scarf which hung loosely around her neck. Thinking about it, that was a pretty good idea. She could already see the headline before her inner eye.

**'Young elite student strangles herself – no one knows why!'**

No, that just would not do. Besides if she strangled herself now, she would not be able to finish her dessert, the greatest apple tiramisu she ever had had. And she would not be able to go to Harvard or any other fancy school in this country. Would she be willing to give that up in order to end this torture? Probably not.

Really, could this guy talk about anything else? No, it was 'Lord of the Rings' this, 'Lord of the Rings' that. It was starting to unnerve her. He was getting on her nerves with his stupid grin plastered on his face and that floppy hair. Who in their right mind would cut their hair like this? God, he did not even talk about the books, he had never read them, only the movies were interesting enough for him.

Maybe he could not read and tried to hide it like this. When she had said that she liked _Tom Bombadil_ he just looked at her as if she had grown a second head.

But the tiramisu was great.

She was sure that the date with Finn would have been much funnier, more carefree than this. Dean did not even let her take a breath. Always asking questions and not acting on impulse like Finn would have done.

Her thoughts wandered to Finn. What was he doing right now? He probably had a date as well with that redhead she had seen him with the day before yesterday.

"So, do you think we should head back. Your mom said to bring you back at ten." Dean told. Finn could have cared less what her mother had said and Lorelai would have liked it. The two of them were alike in some ways.

She let her gaze roam through the elegant restaurant he had chosen. At least, he was able to do _that_. Suddenly, her wandering eyes stopped and stared at the sight in front of her. There he was, the one she would rather be sitting here with. He seemed to enjoy himself.

He looked up, feeling her stare making the tiny hairs at the nape of his neck stand up.

Their eyes locked and she felt herself get lost in those green orbs which would be more blue if she was closer. She wanted to stand up, go over to him and kiss him again. Show him that she wanted him, all of him but she knew that she could never have that from him.

"Rory, are you alright? You know that guy?" Dean asked. It had probably rude to stare at another guy when she was on a date but she did not really care. This 'date' had been a total fiasco so far and she did not plan on having a repeat of this.

She would go back to her books and live in her own little world where did not need boyfriends and dates. How could she not when her only two options were absolutely out of the question? One did not do commitment and the other bored her to death. The perfect boyfriend for her would be a combination of those two. A committed, daring guy who would treat her well and in whose presence she would never think of another boy because he was perfect for her.

She shook her head at Dean and only said "Let's go!".

--

She was not better than him, two days after kissing him she went on a date with some stupid small town dick and it hurt him. Well, at least he knew now that he could still feel something after the numbness he felt in the years after Drew's death.

Rory had been something special, she was not like all those other girls with whom he tried to still the numb feeling in him. She would not have been just a band aid, she would have been able to save him, to restore the old Finn, helping him to get over his brother's fatal accident. When she saw him in the hallway with Trish he thought she saw something in her eyes.

Something that screamed 'I knew you would!' and it left him with a feeling of guilt for hurting the most lovely and innocent girl in this whole school, no, in the whole damn world.

--

Monday at school they avoided each other. Or at least they tried to. They had every class together and the teachers were not helping very much either. Group work, that was all she had to say.

At lunch, she was sitting alone again and she had the feeling that for the first time since she started this school no one would come and sit with her.

But she was wrong like so often in the last few weeks. The two tall blondes of the group came over to her and sat down. They had grim looks on their faces. They had to discuss something with her, something serious.

"Rory," Logan started, she had never talked to him before but that was nothing exceptional. "Rory, we need to talk with you. About...Finn." he told her.

On the inside she screamed 'I don't want to talk about him. Can't you see that he hurt me?' but she only managed to mutter a small "Ok!".

"Rory, you need to help him. He's out of his mind, he's been out with three different girls this weekend, that's a new record even for him, he drank three bottles of tequila on his own..." Tristan wanted to say more but Rory interrupted him.

"Why do you think I want to hear that?" tears filled her eyes but she refused to let them fall. Not in front of them, not in front of the cafeteria and especially not in front of _him_.

"Because when you look inside yourself you'll find that you care a great deal about him. You want to help him..."

Rory had looked away, not able to see the looks on their faces. How could they ask this from her? She wanted to forget him. That train was long gone.

"I can't..." she whispered. "Yes, you can..." "Stop it, you don't know what happened, Tristan! You weren't there when went to get coffee. It was wonderful, it was everything I ever wanted yet I knew I could only have it in that moment. He isn't ready to give me what I want and I'm not ready to wait for him. As selfish as it sounds but I don't want that. The only thing that can come out of this is pain!" with that she got up spared them one last glance and left the cafeteria.

"That went well..." Logan said as he and Tristan got up to go to their usual table.

Without them noticing Finn had left as well, following Rory out. He had seen the look on her face and wanted nothing more than to comfort her.

He caught up with her at her locker. When she heard his footsteps she started to wipe furiously at her face trying to conceal the fact that she had let the tears fall.

"Rory..." she turned around as she heard his hoarse voice whispering into her ear. She wanted to turn around and hug him, to hear him say that everything would be fine again.

"Rory..."

"What?" she snapped at him. She did not intend to be so harsh but she was mad at him. Mad that he proved her right. Mad that he was such a player. Mad that she just could not let him take her on that damn date. Mad that he made her go on a date with Dean.

He wanted to yell at her that she was wrong, that he could be the guy she wanted him to be and then he thought of Trish. The living proof of her assumptions but that was only because she had rejected him. It was all her fault.

No, it was not. He was wrong. They needed to stop this, trying to protect themselves from each other.

"Forgive me!" he did not know where that came from.

She turned around and stared at him disbelievingly. "Forgive you what?" she asked softly. What was he getting at? In reality, he did nothing wrong, they had no obligations whatsoever.

"Forgive me that I was the person you thought I am, forgive me that I hurt you!"

"Finn!" and suddenly she was in his arms, hugging him fiercely. She never wanted to let go again.

He kissed the top of her head while he held her close. He loved having her in his arms, he loved the way her hair smelled. And knowing himself he would soon love _her_.

"You want to tell me what happened in there?" he nodded his head in the direction of the dining hall when she gazed up at him.

"I... they wanted...they wanted me to help you. They said that you went out of control the past weekend..." his jaw was clenched. How dare they go to her with this? She did not need to be burdened with this. But she was the only one who could help him now. Everyone had tried in the last years but there had been no one with whom he felt so alive as he did with her.

"Why should I help you? Why are they so worried about you?" she asked timidly. She was afraid that he would shut her out.

"Love, that's a long story..." he shook his head. "I promise you, you'll get to hear it. But for now let's just forget about it!" he kissed her again. Soft and gentle like the kiss in the café and she knew that she would desperately try to trust him in the future.

Maybe this would really help him. To talk about everything, his hopes, his fears, his dreams, the past, the present and the future.

Rory Gilmore would be his savior...


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Someone said that the characters were OOC. I'm not taking this the wrong way but I just wanted to say that I think with an AU story there's just no other way. Well, I own nothing and I want reviews, I crave them!!! Thanks to all who have reviewed so far... Caro**

**11**

They had not said a word since they had gotten into his car. In the hallway he had just taken her hand and had led her outside to his car.

This silence was unnerving. She wanted to hear his voice, have him tell her that everything was alright with him and between them. She knew they had a long way to go, they both would have to work very hard for this.

He needed to gain her trust and she needed to make him feel something other than numbness and bitterness again.

"So, where exactly are we going?" she asked him. Rory had been often to Hartford these last few weeks for every Friday night dinner but she had never been here. They had left the elitist part of the town and the houses were getting smaller and homier, at least she thought so. They reminded her of Star's Hollow.

"There's this place I want to show you. I go there every time I want to be alone and just...think. And before that we have to get something to eat. Don't think I didn't hear your stomach." he told her with a smile. She had to laugh at that, she had tried so hard to conceal her appetite because she didn't want to break his concentration.

They stopped at a small diner and Finn let her order. "Are you sure we can eat all that?" he asked her as he saw the masse she had ordered. "Well, I don't know about you but I can!"

They had to drive for another twenty minutes. While Rory ate her fries Finn just wondered how such a petite girl could eat so much. But it was a good change, all the girls he had gone out with before did not eat more than their salad and even then they were complaining that they had eaten too much.

A few minutes earlier they had passed the Hartford sign and now they were entering a small wood as far as Rory could see. She looked at him with a frown. "Are you a murderer in disguise? Taking me into a wood, killing me and then burying my dead body there so no one will find me?" she asked. He laughed out loud at that. She decided then and there that she wanted to hear his laugh more often. It was contagious. She chuckled slightly.

"I'm not going to kill you!" he answered and pointed ahead of them. She followed his finger with her eyes and saw the most beautiful scenery she had ever seen. There before them was a lake and the water reflected the rays of the sun. It seemed as if small crystals were dancing on the surface.

She turned around and saw him studying her. She noticed a small flicker of uncertainty in his eyes and she smiled at him. "Finn, this is beautiful! How did you find it?"

"One day everything just was too much and I started to drive around Hartford when I found this spot. This here helped me to get through everything." was his response.

He parked the car at the edge of the water and get out taking the food with him. Rory followed him suit as he climbed onto the hood of the car. It really intrigued her now how he became the person he was today.

"You like it here? You're the first person I've ever shown this..." he told. She knew he was trying to get some time, to organize his thoughts.

"We have all the time in the world, Finn, I'm not going anywhere." she told him. He took her hand in his and squeezed it lightly.

"You know, I haven't always been the heir to the family business. For the most part of my life my parents have ignored me because they didn't need me..." as he saw her frown he quickly added "but it wasn't so bad. It was just the way it was, and looking back now, I wouldn't want to have it any other way." he looked onto the water and squinted his eyes.

"My brother and I would always stick together. Going to the beach and everything. We always had fun together. He was the perfect son, the perfect brother and just a perfect human being, really."

"What happened to him?" Rory asked still holding his hand. Somehow she knew that she was not going to like what she would hear.

"He died two years ago... He died and left me alone." A lone tear was making its way down his cheek. She wanted to hug him but she did not know if he wanted to say more and feared that if she interrupted him he would not go on. She felt him tense up.

"There was this other driver... he lost control of his car and drove directly into us. No one could help Drew. I was out for a few days and when I woke up, Logan had been there and told me what had happened. Normal people would have expected their parents to tell them news like these but I had to find out from my best friend." he tried hard to hold back the tears and he was gnawing on his lower lip.

"You probably noticed that I'm best friends with Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black and José. That friendship started shortly after. I wasn't able to handle the pain and the alcohol somehow made it more bearable. I wanted to drown it all out, the ignorance of my parents, the concerned looks of my friends. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was but it just wouldn't. I'm still trying, actually. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and want to call Drew and then I remember that I won't ever hear his voice again."

Rory took his hand to her mouth and kissed the fingertips softly, trying to comfort him in some way. She had nothing to compare to the pain he must be feeling now for she had never lost any who meant so much to her.

"I'm by no means a drunk. I know that because my hands don't start to shake when I don't drink and I don't feel any physical pain but my heart feels like it's being ripped apart for the last two years. And I understand every single person on this planet who says alcohol makes everything less painful. But it doesn't make you happy, there are no endorphines being set free. Sex though..." Rory winced at that, she was not the least comfortable with the direction of the story but she wanted to hear it. She wanted to understand the person Finn was.

"Sex lets you feel free. You go up to heaven and all you feel is total bliss. You feel like you can do everything you want. You're not bound to something as trivial as a human body, you see everything around you and yet you don't. You just know that in that moment everything is beautiful no matter what it looks like in reality. You feel loved in that moment and you forget your pain for a few seconds. But the problem is when you get back down to earth everything is so much worse because you know what it could be like and you develop a hunger for that feeling and in the end you would do anything to still that hunger."

Rory looked at Finn in awe. How could he describe something like sex so beautifully? He told it like some modern tragedy. Something she always imagined as romantic and intimate was for him in the end something sad. Something so beautiful could be so ugly for him.

"Finn..."

"I wanted to be loved and all I got was the player status and mindless bimbos throwing themselves at me." he turned to her. "Tell me, you're not going anywhere. Promise, you're gonna help me out of this mess that is my life. I can't go on like this..." he gestured wildly with his hands. With the tears streaming down his face he was like a dark fallen angel who wanted to go back to heaven but the doors had been closed after him and he was not strong enough to open them on his own again and he needed Rory's strength to help him.

She stilled his hands with her own. "Finn, I can't promise you that I'll get you out of this. But I can promise you that I'll try my best!" she told him softly.

He leaned over and kissed her with more passion than ever before. As they broke apart he touched his forehead to hers keeping his eyes closed and breathing heavily. "Thank you, Rory!" with that she kissed him again and the world around them started to fade away...


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: The next chapter... I own nothing. I want to thank every single person woh has ever reviewed this story, I never thought it would get such a response. I love you guys and I want to hear more from you :) Caro**

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**12**

Rory wanted to stay like this forever. Sitting on the hood of a car, looking out onto a lake and the setting sun and kissing one Finn Morgan. His lips were so soft against hers and the kiss was so gentle but with a passion she had never felt before. There was a deep yearning in the pit of her stomach but she did not know for what. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. She felt her fingers grab his tie pulling him closer. One of his hands was behind her neck keeping her close and the other was at her waist playing with the soft fabric of her shirt. There were goosebumps on her skin but she did not know if they were from the cold or from his touch and at the moment she really did not care.

A moan escaped her throat and she was shocked that she was capable of making such a sound. Suddenly his fingers were on her skin leaving a burning path, cold and hot at the same time. 'How can that be possible?' was her only thought but when she felt his hand going further up skimming the fabric of her bra she broke away panting heavily. This was like excercise.

His lips found a spot on her neck and started sucking gently. She knew if she did not stop him soon he would leave a mark and then she would have a lot to explain to a lot of people.

"Finn..." was that really her voice, she could not remember it to be this husky. His tongue sweeped across the sore spot on her neck and she needed all her willpower to push him away. "Finn, we need to stop!" she managed to get out between deep breaths.

He looked at her his eyes glazed over. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. The setting sun making her eyes look like there was a fire burning in them, making her skin glow and her swollen lips. Her blue eyes were a shade darker than they normally were.

He leaned his forhead against hers and closed his eyes. "You're probably right." nothing more than a whisper.

She had put her arms around him and he had buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"If you want me to help you we need to take this slowly, this is all new to me and probably to you, too. We really need to go slow." she whispered into his hair her fingers twirling the curls at the nape of his neck.

Finn nodded his head and asked her "You want me to drive you home?".

"Yes, please." he jumped of the hood of the car and helped her down as well, keeping her close for a moment longer than necessary breathing in her scent of vanilla and coffee.

When she had gotten into the car she had turned on the radio to have at least some sound in case he did not want to talk. When she recognized the song that came on she thought that the radio gods must be looking down on them it matched them perfectly.

Humming along to the tune she looked at Finn. He smiled when he recognized the tune. Otherwise they spent the ride in complete silence. It was a comfortable silence both knowing that they would be there for each other.

"You know, 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' is gonna be our song..." he said when they arrived at her house.

"So... you wanna come in? My mom's probably there but she would leave I think. She isn't like all those other mom's who watch their children so closely that they can't breathe..." Finn put a finger to her lips in order to silence her.

"I'd love to come in but what about your homework?" he asked, he knew how important it was for her to be prepared for school.

"Homework can wait... we could watch a movie or something."Rory answered as they got out of the car.

"I don't know Rory, I've never done this with a girl..." he started but she interrupted him. "Then it's about time that you have a movie night!" she took him by his arm and dragged him towards the door. "You'll love it, I promise!" with a small smile she opened the door and let him step inside.

The moment he stepped over the threshold he felt at home. The house was nothing fancy and there was no expensive furniture or paintings of dead artist, well at least none the world knew of. There was a couch which looked as if it was as old as Rory but very comfortable, able to fit two to three people with a coffee table and a small TV in front of it.

There was not much free space in the living room so he did not feel lost in it like he felt at home.

"Come on, I'll show you the kitchen and my room." she dragged him along again he was so in awe of the small house that he did not protest but just let it happen.

The kitchen looked like it had never been used, everything was clean except for the coffeemaker. It seemed as if someone had just used it.

"So, this is the famous Gilmore kitchen!"

"Why is it famous?" Finn asked. "Because everyone knows we can't cook and yet we have been able to break every single item in this room. We only come in here to get coffee, Bill is our best friend." she explained.

"You really named the coffeemaker? I always thought small town people were weird." this earned him a slap on his arm.

"Everything in this house has a name! Well, this is my room." she said as she led him through the door. She watched him as he examined the room. Rory really wanted to know what he thought. She saw his fingers touching the surface of her vanity, slowly he walked over to her desk, let his fingers glide over the laptop and the papers scattered all over it. Her room was so messy but he did not feel uncomfortable, it added to the charm of the house... to _her_ charm to see that she was not perfect.

He saw her watching him as he turned around to go over to her nightstand and look at a picture. There was Rory arm in arm with another girl probably her best friend.

"That's my best friend Lane and me at the Spring Carnival two years ago." she informed him. A small smile played on his lips. Those eyes were unbelievable, they would haunt him forever even in death. He knew that for sure.

He saw her twisting her fingers nervously, she needed his appreciation. He never thought she would give so much on other person's thoughts. She seemed so independent while he needed all the recognition he could get.

"Maybe we should start the movie, tomorrow's school." he told her as he walked over to her. Finn took her in his arms and whispered in her ear. "I love it!" A small chuckle escaped her as she heard this and relief washed over her.

"What do you want to watch? Oh, I know something silly to lighten the mood. Cher and Dionne can surely help with that." he looked at her not knowing what she was talking about. "Clueless?" she laughed out loud as he nodded his head. "I meant the movie, Finn!"

Rory started the movie and just as 'Kids In America' started the front door opened.

"Rory, are you home? Michel did the best thing today, you won't believe it..." Lorelai suddenly stopped as she saw her daughter sitting on the couch with some boy she did not know.

"Hey, who are you?" she asked as she threw her purse on the table and extended her hand towards Finn.

"Finn Morgan, Miss Gilmore, pleasure to meet you." he greeted her the way he had always been trained to, the society way.

"Call me Lorelai, please, Miss Gilmore sounds so formal. Finn Morgan, you were at her birthday party, weren't you?" she nodded her head towards Rory.

"Yes, I go to school with your daughter and..." Rory knew her mother was going to interrogate him now so she did the only thing she could think of.

"Mom, could I talk to you for a second? In the kitchen? Excuse us, Finn!" she took her mother by the arm and dragged her to the other room.

Lorelai gave her daughter a look that clearly said 'What the hell?'.

"Rory, what is a boy from your school doing in our living room. I thought you didn't like the people there. I mean there's nothing wrong with an exotic boy toy..." she started to ramble.

"Mom, he's my boyfriend." Rory told her mother and closed her eyes tightly... she was actually scared of her mother.

"Your boyfriend? Mini-Me you move fast, you haven't even told me about him and you haven't been on a date with him yet. Tell mommy everything. Was he the reason you were so gloomy these past weeks?"

"Yeah, I didn't trust him, he's the greatest player of the school. But today we talked and he told me why he is the way he is and I believe him!" she added as she saw her mother's incredulous look.

"Oh, okay. But promise to be careful! You should get back he's waiting for you. I'll go to Luke's. You want me to get you something to eat?" Lorelai asked her daughter.

Rory nodded her head and smiled at her mother.

She moved back towards the living room and sat down beside Finn snuggling against him. He gave her a kiss on the top of her head as they watched the movie in complete silence.

When Lorelai returned home with the food she saw Finn, her daughter's first boyfriend, watching 'Clueless' while Rory was fast asleep in his arms. He turned his head to see her standing in the doorway and smiling at him. She had bags full of food in her hands.

"You want to eat something?" she asked him in a whisper. But apparently she was not quiet enough for Rory started to stir in Finn's arms and opened her eyes.

"Hello, love, food's here. I should get going anyway, I still need to get back to Hartford and weather's not on my side tonight."

"Okay, I'll bring you to your car." she said to him.

"You could stay here tonight, it's too late and too dangerous to drive back now, you can sleep on the couch." Lorelai threw in. "Just call your parents and tell them where you are." she called over her shoulder as she went into the kitchen to get some plates.

"You okay with that, kitten?" he asked Rory. Her smile just got bigger as she nodded her head furiously. He chuckled a bit and started to nod his head as well. "Okay!" This was the best night he'd had in a long time...


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: The next chapter... Finally... ;) And a big thanks to DevilPup for her help!!! I own nothing. I want to thank every single person woh has ever reviewed this story, I never thought it would get such a response. I love you guys and I want to hear more from you :) Caro**

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**13**

Finn woke up to the sound of mugs gliding over a table and hushed voices talking. He wanted to turn around and get some more sleep but knew that he could not get back to sleep now that he was awake. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked around the room taking a few seconds to remember where he was. He remembered the movie, Rory falling asleep in his arms and Lorelai offering him to stay the night.

Lorelai had gone upstairs after they had eaten and he and Rory had stayed uo trying to finish their homework but always distracted each other in the middle of it. That was up until Rory got up and sat on the other side of the table.

"_Why did you go over there?" he asked with mock annoyance. Rory just stuck her tongue out at him and began writing furiously on her essay. It was due tomorrow...so was his. _

"_Stop looking at me like that, I can't concentrate when you do that!" she told him exasperatedly._

"_How do I like at you? I'm just observing the fact that you're cute when you furrow your brow like that." he smirked at her as she blushed. But then she started to glare at him._

"_Stop trying to charm your way out of doing your homework. I'll stay up and won't let you go to sleep until you have finished that essay. You wanted to change so you need to do something."_

"_Rory..." he started to whine. He had hardly ever done his homework. But she was right, that was the old Finn._

_With a small pout on his lips he started writing and an hour later he was done with it. He could not believe it, he had finished his essay and was now free to do what he wanted and that included a brunette girl with sparkling blue eyes that sat in front of him._

"_Can you come over here again? I feel so lonely without you here!" he whispered as he leaned over the table. She chuckled slightly but moved around the table nonetheless until she stood in front of him. _

_Finn hugged her around the middle and rested his head on her stomach as she played with his hair letting her hands glide down over his neck and his shoulders and as he looked up at her she leaned down and kissed him. _

_He slowly dragged her down so that she was straddling him, one leg on either side of him as he kissed his way over her jaw to her neck and started to suck lightly on her pulse point._

_He felt her breath on his ear, coming in short gasps making the hairs on the nape of his neck stand up and his skin tingle. "Rory" it came out as a small fragile whisper and she pulled away. He saw something in her eyes, something sincere that held him captive and he knew that he could never lose her._

"_Finn, I'm not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world. We should go to bed now. We have to get up early tomorrow." she whispered and gave him one last kiss before she got up._

"_You can use the bathroom, I'll go and get you a pillow and a blanket."_

And he was satisfied with that and that was what amazed him most. With every other girl he had to go further in order to feel at least something. And now? He just needed to look at Rory and he felt his heart beat faster.

Later that night he felt her snuggling up to him. He just held onto her and finally fell asleep.

"Mom, be quiet, you're gonna wake him up! He's got at least another ten minutes!" Rory whispered harshly to her mother.

"You know, if I were my mother, I would be completely hysterical by now after finding you two on that cozy little couch. And he would be missing several parts of his body." Lorelai said sweetly to her daughter.

"Mom, nothing happened, we just slept. I went to him! Not the other way around. You should be mad at me!" Rory countered.

Lorelai looked at her and knew it was the truth. She was not mad, not even the tiniest bit. She knew her daughter was falling for the troubled Australian boy... hard and fast. She was not the mother who would keep her daughter from doing anything... as long as Rory talked to her. But she was afraid it all went to fast.

"I'm not mad at you, Rory, and I'm not mad at him. I just think you two should take it all a little slower. You seem like you still have a lot of time together ahead of you."

Finn got up from the couch and made some noise to make his presence known to the two women in the kitchen. He heard the chairs scrape over the floor and saw Rory looking around the corner a smile gracing her features.

"Hey, you're up!" she said and walked over to him. "Good morning!" she whispered before giving him a quick kiss. "Now, go get washed up and then we'll go to Luke's for breakfast." she told him.

He could just nod his head. If he had known that it could be like this. That there could be someone to greet him in the morning and who would make him eat breakfast. His parents never cared. They did not care that he had his first drink of the day at eight in the morning. Did not care that he always wore his sunglasses so others would not see the dark circles under his eyes. No one looked at him and saw the pain he felt. The teachers kept looking away, he was just another rich with a bunch of problems which they could not understand.

And now there was this girl, no woman, standing before him and looking straight into his soul and saw everything from his fears to his darkest secrets but she did not know that yet. He had a broken soul and he hoped that maybe she could fix it.

"Give me ten minutes!" he said and was already up the stairs. For the first time in a few years he actually wanted to go to school. He would enter the school together with his girlfriend. He knew there would be a lot of talk but they had their friends. For once in his life he wanted to go through with something and he would not let some people who were jealous ruin that.

When he came down the stairs he heard them arguing again. "Mom, no! You can't wear that! It looks slutty. Grandma would strangle with those straps..." Rory told her mother in a stern voice.

"I'll just wear a jacket." Lorelai's whining voice replied. "No, Mom, you're gonna wear that. Now go to your room and put on that red top we bought last week. It's just as revealing as this one but it doesn't look like your gonna dance with a pole any minute."

Finn heard a loud gasp coming from Lorelai and her stomping towards the stairs. When he saw her he had to suppress a chuckle. The top really looked slutty, more straps than actual fabric. Every society mother would have a heart attack.

"Don't you dare laugh, Finn, or you'll never get to sleep on that couch again or with my daughter in your arms!" she threatened. "Hurry up, Mom. Finn and I are gonna be late for school!" Rory shouted from the kitchen.

--

They were sitting in his car on their way to Chilton. She was worried about him. She had seen his hands this morning, shaking as he closed his hands around the mug filled with coffee. He said he was not hungry. She was afraid that he already had to much alcohol in his life that he could not even go a few days without it, that he was in far to deep already. But she did not want to voice her concerns to him because he surely would think that she wanted to control him.

He was gripping the steering wheel, his knuckles white so that she would not see them shaking and his sunglasses hiding his emotions.

As he was changing gears she reached out and took his hand. The cool skin of her hands soothing his hot one. Lifting his hand she gave it a few soft kisses before letting go.

She saw the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

--

On the Chilton parking lot they got out of the car and he walked towards and gave her a kiss. Just there where everyone could see them. And she loved it.

He took her hand and led her into the building where their friends were surely awaiting them. They ignored the whispers and jealous glares they got. The girls mad that Rory took away one of the hottest guys in school and the guys shocked that Finn gave up his principles just like that. 'Never be seen with a girl in school, let alone kiss her.' It had always been his motto and most looked up at him for that.

Suddenly, the two heard a squeal, well more like three in one. Stephanie, Madeline and Louise had spotted them holding hands and were now dragging the guys and Paris towards Rory and Finn.

Tristan winked at Rory and she could not help but smile. Actually, he was a great guy, she knew that by now. All of them had great characters even though she still had to warm up to the girls. She knew now that they just acted that way because they were afraid and had lost little souls and they wanted to at least feel anything. And cruelty apparently helped with that.

Rory decided then and there, that she would show them all that there was a world outside of society, filled with love and happiness. She would show them her world and she would never let them go. All of them were in store for a big change. And the biggest one lay ahead of Finn.

The girls were looking at her with wide grins and manic glints in their eyes.

She hugged him around the middle and he gave her a kiss on the temple. He smiled as he heard her whisper something into his shoulder.

"Why are they looking at me like that? Help me Finn!"

He knew then and there that he loved her and never wanted to lose her. Never...


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I'm so so sorry for the long wait. I have no real excuse. But here it finally is. I had to change the rating of the story, but I hope you still like it and I did not completely mess it up... Read and review, Caro  
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**14**

Rory was nervous. Even more so than before her birthday party her grandmother threw her. No, that was nothing compared to this. She kept tugging on her hair trying to get it to stay in the position she wanted. But it seemed as if even her hair inherited the infamous Gilmore stubbornness. She really could do without that now.

She let out a frustrated sigh and picked up the brush that was on her vanity. When she heard a knock on her door she turned around and saw Finn standing there. She gave a growl and let herself plop down on her bed.

She heard his soft steps and felt the bed dip where he sat.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked while playing with a strand of her hair. Could she tell him that she was afraid of his friends? Especially of the girls? They were so different and she just could not see them developing a friendship. She was afraid that all would go back to the way it was before. Before she was Finn's girlfriend, before she fell in love with him. It had been such a short time but she already knew that she loved him. They would be saving each other in the end. He would help her overcome her fears and she would help him face his past and his future.

"I don't know. What if they're not as supportive as we think they are? What if they still don't like me? What if..." Rory was silenced by his lips crashing onto hers. She felt him nip at her bottom lip and just when she wanted to deepen the kiss he let go of her. She saw a twinkle in his eyes and a small smirk forming on his lips.

"Kitten, they like you. They see that you're good for me. Before you they had already given up on me. They had tried for so long and got no response. Then when you came along they thought you would hurt me even more that's why they've been so cruel to you. You see, they're my family, the only one I have. But now they have seen the change in me and they really want to get to know the girl who accomplished that. Besides Louise and Madeline have been voting for another girl in the group for a long time because then they would finally get their girl power." This got a small chuckle from Rory.

"Everything's fine?" he asked one last time. "Yeah" she whispered and then shooed him out the door. "Give me another five minutes!" she told him and laughed when he groaned.

She turned around to her vanity and looked at a picture that was stuck on the mirror. Lorelai had put it there. It was a picture of her and Finn lying on a blanket on a field near the Inn. Rory was reading a book while playing with Finn's fingers and he was watching her with such an intensity that made the small hairs on her neck stand up. Lorelai made it without them knowing.

Rory would have never thought that her mother would be so supportive of her relationship with Finn. He was after all part of Hartford's high society. But her mother surprised her and told her that she liked Finn and that she could see a lot of herself in him and that he deserved someone like Rory.

Of course, Lorelai knew that Finn had problems and that they were big and naturally, she was afraid he would get Rory into trouble. But she also knew that if she had had a friend like Rory, someone to depend on, then everything would have gone differently. Probably even better. Lorelai was also the one who suggested that they tell the grandparents nothing of Rory's relationship. She knew that her parents would have heart attacks if they found out that their precious granddaughter was dating high society's bad boy.

--

"Where exactly are we going, Finn?" Rory asked as she looked out of the window and watching the scenery she did not recognize. He told her that it was a surprise but she could not help asking him.

"Love, it's a surprise. The others are already there and waiting for us. And now stop bugging me!" he told her jokingly. "That won't help, missy!" he said as she pouted.

"You're mean!"

"And you love it!" she looked at him with wide eyes and an awkward silence settled in the car. Did he really say that or did she just imagine it because she so desperately wanted to hear those three words from him. She saw the way he concentrated on the road ahead, trying to ignore what he just said. She took his hand in hers and looked ahead as well.

"Yes, I do." She told him in a quiet voice. There was no physical reaction to her statement except for his hand squeezing hers.

--

Rory stood there and looked at the building. She was a little intimidated, not by the building but by the long queue in front of it. "Finn, I'm not dressed for this! You could have said something, I thought we would go out to dinner...".

"Well, love, it was planned that way but the girls decided they wanted to go dancing instead. They said there is no other way for bonding than dancing." he told her as he pulled her close.

"But I'm not dressed..." Rory started when she was interrupted by Louise who appeared in front of her with Steph and Madeline smiling beside her and Paris with a sour face. "That's why we were waiting in the car for you, but someone did not bring you there." she said and gave Finn a pointed glare. Then she grabbed Rory's hand and pulled her towards the limo that stood a little away and told her to get in.

"Where are the others?" Rory asked. "They are already in there and saving us a spot!" Steph answered.

"Now, Gilmore, here's what we have for you, you alone can decide what you want to wear. You can stick with your clothes if you want..."

"I want to see what you got first and then I'll decide, my clothes really aren't appropriate." she answered with a bad feeling.

"Well, we have this beautiful little top, the skirt and of course boots, they're high I know, but believe me they won't kill you!" Steph said with a smile.

Rory looked at the clothes and thought about it. She could for once let go and just shock everyone or be her normal self. Well, she could be her normal self every day for the rest of her life, but tonight she wanted to have fun.

She only got out an "Okay" when the girls started to squeal and jump up and down excitedly.

--

Louise took her hand and guided her around all the people who were waiting in front of the club. Rory started to protest when she saw her kissing the bouncer on the cheek and he opened the door for them not even asking for an ID.

As soon as they were inside smoke and loud music hit them. Rory could feel the bass vibrating in her veins and looked on the dance floor where people were dancing in the rhythm to the music. She had never seen something like that. She felt like Baby when she entered the party carrying a watermelon. So innocent and afraid. She saw the flushed bodies grinding against each other and thought that something like that should be forbidden in public.

"Come on!" Louise shouted and tugged at her hand. Rory looked to the bar and saw Colin and Logan flirting with two girls they probably just met. Suddenly, she felt a pair of hands go around her waist and hot breath on her ear.

"I have to say, I liked the other outfit as well, love, but believe me this is so much better!" She felt him smirk. When he smirked like that one could think he was not depressive, his eyes just danced with amusement.

"You really think so?" Rory asked as she turned around in his arms. "Yes!" he answered "But I'm probably not the only one. I think I'll have to defend your honor once or twice in the course of the night."

"Hey, you two break it up, you're not alone!" Tristan called and smiled one of his rare genuine smiles.

"What? Are you jealous, Tristan?" Rory asked with a raised eyebrow. She felt Finn's chest rumble with laughter at the shocked expression on the face of one of his best friends.

"Come on, girl! We're going dancing!" Steph shouted and dragged Rory to the dance floor along with Madeline and Louise. Paris had found the only guy wearing a tie in this establishment and had tricked him into a conversation about politics.

--

Rory was having the time of her life when she saw Finn coming her way. She knew he was drunk but tonight it was not like the rest of the nights. He was drinking out of fun not to drown his sorrows. It was the first time she saw him smiling for such a long time. She was dancing with Tristan and Colin because the girls had disappeared somewhere during the last half an hour to make out with some random guys they met.

She made a step towards her boyfriend and pulled her body flush against his. Rory could feel the warmth of his body and his heartbeat when he captured her lips in a passionate kiss. Her knees grew weak and her pulse was getting faster. Kisses like that should be forbidden. Kisses that could make the most intelligent person be a lovestruck fool.

She felt herself pressing her body closer to his wanting as much contact as possible. Her hands ran through his hair tousling it even more. Rory felt his hands going lower and under her shirt sending electric shocks through her veins. She had goosebumps all over her from just one kiss. And she had just one thought. She wanted more.

They broke apart, completely oblivious to the looks their friends were giving them, breathing deeply to calm their racing hearts.

"Love, you make me go crazy, you know that?" Finn told her as they swayed slightly to the music. Rory felt a blush creeping up her neck and wanted to bury her head in Finn's chest. But he made her look her in his eyes. She could see that he was drunk but there were also so many other emotions there. The ones that stood out the most were fear, love and finally lust. His eyes were so dark she considered them black. Hers were probably no different. Her body was on fire and she wanted nothing more than to get out of that club and be alone with Finn.

"Well, then how about we get out of here and go back to Louise's early? We'll take a cab and the others can take the limo..." she trailed off as his eyes grew even darker.

They had all agreed to spend the night at Louise's and the next day as well.

She felt Finn grab her hand and walk over to Colin and Tristan. He told them that they were heading home early but that the others should stay and have fun. All the while Rory looked around trying to find one of the girls. She saw Paris making out with the tie-guy, so Paris was out of the question, she kept on looking and finally found Madeline.

Her and Finn made their way over there and told her that they would be going home. Madeline nodded her head with a small wink to Rory and then went back to dancing with the guy she had chatted up.

The two of them went out of the club and the bouncer hailed them a cab. Finn was kissing her neck and she felt her body get hotter again. Just then the cab arrived and they got in, sitting close together in the back with Finn's hand on her leg. His fingers were drawing small circles on her soft skin. Rory heard herself sigh and Finn smirked but when he moved his hand a little higher she took it in hers and interlaced their fingers. She nearly had to laugh at his pout and gave him kiss.

--

Finn pressed her against the door of one of the guest bedrooms, running his hands up and down her sides. It felt so good and Rory never wanted that feeling to stop.

She remembered a conversation she had had Finn not so long ago. They wanted to take things slowly and this was the exact opposite of slowly.

"Finn..." she whispered but he did not hear her. "Finn!" A little louder. He looked her in the eyes and nodded his head as he rested his head against hers. His hands were still trailing the same paths they did before her interruption. It seemed as if nothing had changed. His mouth moved to her ear and he started whispering.

"I know we're not gonna have sex tonight but I ... I need to feel something and I think you do, too. I want to be intimate with you, I want you to moan and scream my name as you come..." Rory moaned as he said that. "But believe me I wouldn't take your virginity on a night like this. You are something special and you deserve something special. But I could give you an idea of what is to come..." he trailed off as he kissed the shell of her ear.

Rory felt herself nod at what he said and wrapped her legs around his waist as he picked her up.

She kissed him again and started to unbutton his shirt as he walked over to the bed. Finn laid her down on the covers and broke the kiss making her way as he moved down to her legs. Leaving a burning path of open mouthed kisses from her thighs to her boots as he removed her shoes. Rory was watching him and decided then and there that she had never seen something so erotic. She knew her panties were soaked through by now but she did not care. All she wanted was to feel Finn.

As he came back up again she continued to remove his shirt and kiss his neck her hands running up and down his back. Suddenly her top was gone as well, and he was working on her bra. She arched her back so he would have it easier. Finn started to suck her nipple through her bra. Rory could not form one coherent thought. The next thing she knew was that Finn and her were only in their underwear.

She spread her legs and felt his erection against her core. She had never gone that far with a boy, but it seemed that in the end it was all instinct. She felt her hand go in-between their bodies and inside his boxers. He felt like hot velvet in her hands. Finn panted in her ear while he played with her nipple his other hand making its way down as well.

His fingers pushed her panties aside and entered. Rory opened her eyes and saw Finn staring back at her, small beads of sweat on his brow. "Finn!" she moaned. "I... don't think...I oh god!"

"Let go, Ror!" he whispered urgently, he wanted them to come together. And she did as he said, she let go and suddenly she understood what he told on the hood of his car.

They laid there panting, his arms around her and her head on his chest. When their breathing had calmed down he got out of bed and carried her to the shower. The first few minutes they just stood under the hot water and relaxed.

Twenty minutes later they reemerged and went back to bed.

"I love you, Finn!" she whispered.

"I love you, too!"

After what they just did she was not so scared anymore. This had changed everything in their relationship. In just a few hours he had gone from being her boyfriend to being her first true love. And she would do anything to help him and in the end keep him...


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I am so so so sorry. I had a huge writer's block and then I was too scared to start writing again because I didn't have any ideas. I know where I want this story to go but I didn't know how to get there. And today I finally sat down and wrote and this is what came out of it. I hope you enjoy it.**

**15**

Rory turned around, still half asleep. The bed beside her was empty and she slowly opened her eyes. Finn was not there. Sitting up she wondered where he could be. She looked around the room and saw that his things still lay where he put them last night. Tucking a blanket around her still naked body she went into the adjoining bathroom and saw him there. He was lying in the bathtub his eyes closed and his breathing even. Rory went over to him and knelt down beside the tub her hand going into the water. It was only slightly warm and she turned on the hot water so he would not get colder. Finn stirred in his sleep but did not wake up. Rory sat down on the floor and just watched him.

Suddenly she heard knocking on the bedroom door and got up to open it.

"Morning, Rory!" Madeline said to her. The girl was already dressed and it seemed like she wanted to go out. "We want to go shopping, the guys are giving us their black cards and we'll have a good time, so get dressed and we'll meet you outside!"

"But..." Rory started but was interrupted by Louise who showed up behind Madeline. "No buts Rory! You're coming with us and tell Finn to get up as well even though he may be very exhausted." She said with a wink. "The guys want to go play paintball!"

Rory did not even try to protest anymore because she knew she would not win. So she just smiled at the two girls and closed the door. Maybe shopping was not such a bad idea. She certainly needed some time to think about what happened last night and with Finn there she was not sure she could do it. She would always be thinking his kisses and caresses and just wanting more.

She went to the bathroom and saw Finn standing there with just a towel wrapped around his hips and her thoughts immediately went back to the events of last night. He smirked at her, they seemed to have very similar thoughts, he in a towel and she in just a blanket.

"Good morning, love!"

Rory took a few steps and was in his arms and kissing him with so much passion that had she not known that Madeline and Louise were still outside waiting for her she could not have stopped.

They needed to talk before anything else happened. There were so many emotions involved in this so many more than she ever thought would be possible. As much as she wanted him physically she needed them to want the same thing. For once, she could not listen to her heart she had to listen to her head instead.

She was breathing heavily as she leaned her forehead against his. Finn was pulling her close trying to kiss her again but she slipped away and smiled broadly at him.

"I need to get dressed. I'm going shopping with the girls. You should get ready as well you guys are going to play paintball." She told him as she went to the other room and chose what to wear. She laid her clothes out on the bed when she felt Finn coming up behind her and hugging her. They just stood there like that for a few minutes until they heard laughing screaming from downstairs. Apparently, Tristan had said something to Paris about the guy she had hooked up with last night and Paris was not taking it that well. The others were just laughing at the two.

Finn gently kissed her neck and then let go of her to go to the other side of the room and get dressed himself.

--

"So, Gilmore, spill!" said Louise when they entered the first shop. Rory felt a blush creep up her neck as she looked around trying to find something to distract the girls. She really did not want to talk about it but she had a feeling that she had no choice in the matter.

"That good, huh?" Stephanie said with a smile as she went over to the skirts to browse and see if there was anything she liked. Rory just smiled to herself and turned around to have a look at the different shirts hanging on the wall.

"It was amazing..." she whispered as Madeline came up beside her. And it really had been. It had been foolish to think that she could distract herself by going shopping. She could still feel his lips on hers, his taste of rum and coke and his fingers on her skin driving her mad. 

Madeline smiled at her truly happy that the girl she now considered a friend and one of her best friends were so happy with each other.

"Here try this on!" she told Rory and help up a very revealing top. "No way!" Rory protested. She would not wear that little piece of cloth. "Oh, come on, Rory!" Steph said who had come up beside her "It's not like you have to buy it just try it on. Just for fun." And with that Rory was pushed into one of the changing rooms.

'What the hell, Rory, just try it on, maybe you'll like it!' she told herself and started to get undressed when the girls gave her a jeans and a pair of shoes to try on with the shirt.

Five minutes later she emerged not really knowing what to think about the outfit. It all fit her very well but it really was not her style to wear something like that. She liked her loose fitting jeans and sweaters but ever since she became friends with these girls and got so close to Finn she found herself wanting to try out new things, to be different, to break out of her old ways.

She heard catcalls from beside her and saw Louise and Stephanie standing there looking her over while Madeline was standing in front of another changing room threatening the person in there, probably Paris, that if she did not try on that particular outfit she would get in there herself and force her to do it.

For the first time Rory looked into the floor length mirror from afar and saw that the top was not as revealing as she thought it was. Sure, you could see her cleavage but it did not look slutty.

"Rory, I think we have the perfect party outfit for you!" Louise exclaimed. Rory smiled she really liked that outfit. The sad thing was without the girls she never would have tried it. She would not even have entered this shop. "Now, we need to get something for Finn's eyes only!" Stephanie said and walked into the back of the shop with Louise and left Rory to look at herself in the mirror and listen to Madeline and Paris arguing.

"But, Paris, believe me he'll love it! You look absolutely hot, it's the perfect outfit for your date." Madeline tried to convince her friend. Paris had a date? When did that happen? With the tie-guy?

"You have a date, Paris? With who? And when?" Rory asked through the closed door standing beside Madeline. She would be happy if her uptight friend went out and for once was not as strict just as she was last night. She only got a grunt as an answer.

"Oh, right, we forgot to tell you what happened last night with Paris." Madeline started but was interrupted by Paris. "Don't you dare, Lynn!" but she was just ignored. "Well, Paris was making out with that guy she met there. So, after you guys left Colin suddenly spotted them and he went ballistic, it was amazing. Tristan and Logan had to try everything to stop him from punching the guy. Colin and Paris screamed at each other for a while until Colin grabbed her, kissed her and then told her that he would pick her up at seven tonight." She finished.

Rory could barely hold in her laughter. Paris and Colin, she could not believe it. "Gilmore, stop it!" she heard Paris say. "I'll stop when you come out and show us your outfit." Rory offered. They heard a hushed "okay" and the door slowly opened. Rory was stunned to say the least. Paris was wearing a beautiful short dress that looked absolutely amazing on her. She smiled at Paris who just scowled in return. "Paris, you look perfect, he'll love it."

Paris' features softened at that. Rory had a feeling that Paris really liked Colin but had been just too shy to admit it. Just then Louise and Steph returned. "Okay, Rory, this is for you and Paris, this is for you." Steph said handing them a couple of hangers with bras and panties.

Rory went back into the changing room thinking that now that she had tried on the outfit she could try on the underwear as well. And she was pleased. Again something she would have never picked but that looked good on her.

--

Rory was lying on her bed exhausted from the shopping that day. All over she was happy with what she had gotten and Lorelai had also been excited. She had always tried to get Rory to get a new style.

It was well past midnight but she did not want to go to sleep yet. It was Sunday and she did not need to get up early. She was basking in the afterglow of a shopping spree, although she was a little sad that she had not seen Finn anymore as Louise had driven her directly home.

Suddenly, she heard a light tapping on her window and got up to see who wanted to talk to her. A smile lit up her face when she saw Finn standing outside smirking at her. Rory opened 

the window to let him in and just as soon as he was inside he was kissing her like he had not seen in her in years and not twelve hours. She was only too happy to oblige but they needed to talk before anything else happened. She gently pushed him immediately missing his lips on hers.

"Finn, we need to talk." He looked at her with an unsure expression. He did not like the sound of that and his brow was furrowed. Rory had to smile at that. He was cute when he did that. "It's not like that, Finn. I just wanted to talk about last night. I want you to know that I loved every minute of it. I would have had sex with you but then you said that you did not want to take my virginity that way. It was so sweet. That's when I felt it, Finn, I'm falling for you. Hard. I cannot think straight when I'm around you. And last night was amazing, I never felt so lightheaded. I never wanted that feeling..." she was cut off by him kissing her.

"Sorry, love, but you were starting to ramble." He said with a chuckle. She smiled sheepishly at him.

"What I wanted to say, Finn, was that I think I love you." She told him holding her breath.

He hugged her and whispered into her ear "I think I love you, too." His breath on her ear made the small hairs on the back of her neck stand up and she had goose bumps all over her body. He started kissing her neck and sucking slightly on her pulse point. He soothed her skin with his tongue and Rory began to moan. The feeling of his lips and tongue on her neck and her breasts pressed against his chest was amazing and she was quickly losing control.

"Finn, you need to get going." She whispered. If he kept doing that she would not be able to stay quiet but she did not want Lorelai to find them like this.

"Hmm." Was his only reply. He pushed her onto her back on the bed and crawled on top of her. She wanted to push him away but instead just pulled him closer wanting to feel every inch of him.

"Finn, you need to go now." The last word ended in a moan. He then looked at her and tucked a strand hair behind her ear. "My mom can't find us here like this and I can't stay quiet." As she said that he smirked. "And if you don't go now, I'll never show what I bought today. What a shame, then I'll have to show Tristan or Logan and ask them what they think about it."

Finn growled and attacked her lips briefly but forcefully. "You certainly won't do that!" he told her and saw that she was smiling. He gave her one last tender kiss, got up and climbed out of the window. He turned around and smiled at her. She watched from her window as he got into his car and drove away a silly smiled plastered onto her face.

As she lay in her bed her cell rang. It was a text message from Finn.

"_Looking up at the skies. Thanking whatever powers there are that they sent you to my rescue. I love you!"_

She smiled as she put the phone onto her nightstand again.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So there it is, chapter 16. I'm so sorry I haven't updated in such a long time and I don't even have a real excuse. I just did not write and I am absolutely sorry about that. So please enjoy and I'll try to update sooner in the future. Caro**

**16**

Three months had passed since that night they had spent at Louise's and still Finn had not done anything Rory had not wanted him to do though she really was not so sure anymore if she wanted to wait any longer. She knew Finn wanted more, she could feel it every time they lay in bed together. She felt him hold back with all his might just because he did not want to hurt or pressure her.

Rory felt that the sex was not the only problem in their relationship at the moment. His parents had come back from Australia three weeks ago after leaving their son alone in Hartford for six months, without anyone to look after him except for his friends. She really could not understand them. How could they be so cold to their own son? The only one they had left. Slowly, over the past months Finn had opened up to her and let her in but still he rarely talked about Drew. The few times his name was mentioned she could see the pain in Finn's eyes. And now that his parents were back his sunglasses were back in action more frequently.

And she hated it. She really did. She wanted to scream and yell at his parents for treating him like a stranger, for letting him feel like he was not good enough that he had failed them and yet she knew that it would be better to concentrate on him and not his parents.

And she hated them. She had never met them but she hated them. She had asked Tristan once what they were like. She had never thought he could have such a menacing look. He despised the Morgans, all of them did, especially Paris. Finn had always stayed at her place when he was drunk again and he did not want to go home, even though he did not consider his parents' house his home. Tristan told her that Finn's parents had mostly ignored him after Drew had died and when they talked to their son it was mostly accusations for his drinking habits and how he was a disgrace to the family. What should people think of them? That they were not able to raise their child? That was impossible, they were perfect parents he was just not the perfect child. He was notorious when it came to the girls he 'dated' and their families. Nearly all of society knew his reputation and warned their daughters and threatened with disinheriting them if they ever went near Finnegan Morgan.

Rory sometimes wondered why her grandparents did not know about Finn and his escapades. She had told them that she was friends with him but not that she was dating him. The time for that revelation had not yet been right. She thought they knew everyone in Hartford but apparently since they had been involved with people who had children in Rory's age for only a short time again the topic never came up.

She was afraid of how they would react when they found out about him which would be sooner than later. Her grandparents were throwing a party with all of their 'friends' and she and her mother just had to come. This time Emily would not accept any excuse. She even went as far as to persuade Rory with the argument that her friends from school would be there as well.

Rory had asked them the next Monday at school if it was true that they would all be going to her grandparents' party. She was relieved when they all confirmed it, in particular, when Finn said that he would be there. At first, he told her, he did not want to go because his parents expected him to but when Rory looked at him with her big blue eyes and nearly begged him to come he could not resist even though he knew in that moment that it meant trouble. Despite their wanting him to go to that party his parents feared he might disgrace the family name in the presence of the Gilmore family. His parents held them in high regard and when his parents and Rory's grandparents found out that they were dating a fight was sure to come.

But he did not tell her that, he did not want to worry her. And he finally wanted to come out and tell it to the world that he loved this girl and that he could and would change for her even if it entailed a huge fight with his parents.

After that it was for the first time in a long time that he drank so much again that he could neither go home nor stay at Rory's and had to sleep at Paris' house. He had not done that in a long time because he now had Rory to go to but this time he could not do it. When he woke up the next day in one of the guest rooms he saw Paris sitting in one corner of the room a look of worry etched on her face. Finn remembered that he had not given any explanation as to why he was drunk and still she had let him in and he knew that she always would.

"What are you doing here, Finn?" it was only a whisper but he felt like she screamed at him. He could hear the disappointment in her voice and he felt a stabbing pain in his heart. During all of his escapades she had never talked to him in that way. She had always been on his side, had always defended him against every single one of them who said that he was no good and that she should just leave him alone. But now he felt that he had done a mistake which could not be forgiven so easily.

"I..." but she silenced him with a vicious look. She did not want to hear his excuses. "Rory loves you and you? What are you doing? Do you want to destroy everything you built up these last few months?" a deep calming breath interrupted her speech. "Why did you drink so much last night? Do you want to lose her?" she asked him forcefully.

Finn just wanted to his close eyes and sleep. He was so hung over and his head hurt so much. "Paris, of course I don't want to lose her! But that's just the problem. Once my parents and her grandparents find out that we're dating, she'll leave me. I'm absolutely sure of that. She loves her grandparents so much and she wouldn't want to disappoint them by dating me, so she'd end up breaking up with me when the Gilmores find out about my reputation. And believe me they will, my parents will make sure of that." He answered never looking Paris. He did not want to see the affirmation in her eyes that it would really end that way.

Paris was shocked to say the least. How could he believe that? Rory loved him and nothing would change that, not even her grandparents. "Finn, you can't seriously believe that! Rory would always choose you." Finn looked at Paris and saw the sincerity in her eyes. She was just trying to make him feel better.

Suddenly, Paris' phone rang and Finn lay back down and closed his eyes, thankful for the few moments of peace he would have because of that phone call. He saw Rory's beautiful eyes in his mind. He imagined what they would look like when her grandparents would tell her not to date him and how she would agree. Surely, she would leave him. A prickling sensation behind his eyelids disturbed his thoughts. He had not cried in a long time. He had no reason to. A small tear escaped his closed eyes and he hastily wiped it away as he heard Paris answer her phone.

"Hey! What's going on? ... No, I haven't seen him. Sorry! ... I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye!" and so the call was over again. He had hoped to have a little more time for himself until the interrogation would start up again but apparently he had no such luck. He heard Paris sigh and the bed dip on the other side. Slowly, he turned his head and opened his eyes to see her sitting beside him on the bed.

"Who was it?"

"Colin. He's worried sick about you and so is Rory. Maybe you should have a look at your cell. He didn't want to worry me. That's why he didn't call until now. Rory called him last night wanting to know where you were. He could not tell her. They both tried to call you several times he said." She answered. In her eyes he saw the pain she felt at lying to her boyfriend.

"Why did you cover for me?" it was only a whisper but he knew she had heard him.

"Because you're my friend. Because you needed me. It doesn't mean I approve. But Finn, I can't fight your battles, I can't even stand beside you anymore. That's not my place. Rory took it a while ago and I am glad she did. But why can't you talk to her? She loves you, Finn. Talk to her about what you think is going to happen, she'll understand. You seem to forget that you're not alone anymore that she wants to share everything with you, even the bad things. Colin spent the night in Star's Hollow just so you know. He said she didn't sleep a minute all night because she was so worried about you."

Finn felt a pang in his heart. He had not meant to hurt Rory. He would never do that deliberately. He took his cell out and saw that he had twenty missed calls. Fifteen were from Rory alone and five from Colin, Tristan and Logan.

He had really screwed up this time, hadn't he?

"You should go to her." Paris said.

A nod was the only response she got as Finn took his things and left.

---

Finn entered the Gilmore house without knocking. Lorelai had allowed him long ago to do that since he was there all the time anyway. His first look went into the living room and he saw Rory sitting on the couch biting her nails while Colin was trying to calm her down. "He's alright, Rory. Finn can take care of himself." He tried to reassure her. He knew that Colin was worried himself. He could hear it in his voice and Rory could as well.

"Hello, love!" he whispered. Rory turned to look towards the front door and saw Finn standing there with his black glasses but that was the least of her worries.

She was in his arms so fast he did not even register that she had gotten up from the couch and covered the distance between them. He felt her trembling in his arms and his shoulder getting wet. She was crying and it was his entire fault.

"I'm so sorry!" he murmured into her hair. She smelled of coffee.

He looked at Colin and knew instantly that he was in trouble. Colin was right, of course he was.

"Where have you been? Are you alright?" she asked right beside his ear while never letting go of him. He was glad she did not look at him otherwise she would have noticed his rumpled clothes and his dishevelled hair. But it seemed that she would not let go of him too soon or that she just did not care.

"I'm fine, love. I just forgot the time and didn't look if I had any missed calls. I'm sorry." His embrace tightened a little bit when he heard Colin clearing his throat. He looked up at his friends and saw that a scowl was still present on his features.

"I'll leave you then, I have to talk to Paris anyway." A pointed look in Finn's direction accompanied that statement. "Bye Rory."

"Thank you, Colin!" she said as she turned and hugged him. Colin nodded at Finn and left the Gilmore house. He knew that Finn had spent the night at Paris'. He had heard it in her voice that she was lying to him.

---

Rory took Finn by the hand and led him over to the couch. She turned to him and slowly lifted her hands up towards his glasses to take them off. He visibly stiffened as she did this and she knew that he was hung over. She was mad and at the same time worried that he drove here like this. She would have been satisfied with a simple call for the time being. Just to hear his voice, to know that everything was alright would have been enough.

So that he would not have to look in her eyes he looked at his hands which were holding Rory's. Immediately, he was blinded by the brightness of the sun shining into the living room. He had not looked into a mirror on his way here but he knew what he must have looked like from past experience and so he was not surprised by the sharp intake of breath beside him and his head hung just a little bit lower.

"What happened? Why were you drinking?" she asked. Why had he not come to her last night? Why was he so sad again? She had so many questions and yet she knew that she would not get many answers out of him. And last week when she had told him that her mother would not be here this weekend she had hoped that Finn would spend this time with her.

He could never tell her the truth. He could never tell her that she was the reason that he was so down again, that they were the reason he was so scared. He did not think he could ever live without her again now that he had had a small taste of the life he could have with her but the fear of losing her was bigger than the fear of being with her.

"It was nothing, just a stupid fight with my parents. I'm sorry I didn't come over yesterday, one drink led to another and then I didn't want to show up on your doorstep like this. I'm sorry, it won't happen again. I promise!"

He openly lied to her. The truth was he had not talked to his parents in a week. Certainly, she must have noticed that he lied. She could read him like an open book.

Instead of asking for the truth, she just leaned back on the couch and took him with her. They settled in a tight embrace and Finn rested his head near Rory's heart. He could feel it pumping wildly in her chest and the way it slowly calmed down now that he was there with her and she did not have to worry anymore, well at least not that much.

She felt his fingers lightly dance across her stomach and could not stop the shiver running down her spine. She could not understand how he could have such an effect on her body with just a small touch. When he took her hand in his or put a strand of hair behind her ear all other thoughts left her mind. That was why she had stopped doing her homework in his presence. She just could not concentrate on anything else when he was there.

Finn let his fingers slowly wander under the hem of her blouse and started to stroke the soft skin of her stomach. He heard a small sigh escape her lips and saw her closed eyes and a look of total bliss on her face. Gone was the look of worry and sorrow. Encouraged by that he slid up so that his lips could reach her creamy neck where he noticed even the tiniest of freckles and started to leave kisses there.

His lips left a hot trail on her skin, her whole body felt like it was on fire and she never wanted to extinguish that fire. Suddenly, Rory lay on her back with Finn on top of her and their lips quickly finding each other.

"I'm so sorry!" he whispered over and over again between kisses and against her skin while she tugged on his shirt and tried to pull it over his head. When she did not get it off him because her hands were trembling so much, Finn got up and took it off himself. And for a moment it seemed as if time stood still and he saw her red swollen lips, her hair in disarray and her breathing ragged. He watched her small hands going to the buttons of her blouse and slowly opening each one of them until he saw her white bra and her flat stomach.

Then he felt her hands on his chest and how they slid down tugging on his belt wanting him close again. He was only too happy to comply and started to frantically kiss her again when suddenly the front door opened.

"Rory, are you here? Have you heard from Finn yet?" Tristan asked while going into the living room and stopping in his tracks as he saw the two of them lying on the couch. "I'm ... sorry! I should have knocked." He said and turned around when Finn motioned towards Rory and her scantily clad state.

"So ... I presume you're alright, Finn. Where have you spent the night then?" Tristan inquired as he turned around after a while and looked back and forth between Rory, who was dressed again, and Finn, who was putting his shirt back on. "What happened?"

"Nothing important, Tristan." He clearly did not want to be interrogated and he did not want to talk about his problems with any more people than necessary and he especially did not want to talk about it with Tristan right now who was as sensible as a stone sometimes.

"What do you two say to dinner and some movies? We could have a Gilmore movie night." Rory asked after she had caught her breath again and felt the tension in the room. "We could call the others and you could all spend the night here." She gave Finn a pointed look. All of their friends had been worried sick about him and it was the minimum they could do to appease them.

"Yeah, Tristan, let's call the others. It's definitely time for a movie night." Finn said. It was probably the last one he could be a part of, with the Gilmores' party coming up next week. For him it was absolutely inevitable that Rory would leave him after next week and no one would be able to convince him of the contrary.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Oh my god, I am so sorry. I didn't realize it had been a year since I last updated. But the next chapter is finished. I hope you'll like it and it's a little bit longer. Caro**

17

Finn was happy for the movie night because it meant that he could postpone the talk he was sure to have with Rory until the next day when they would be alone. But for now she was being distracted by the other girls talking about their newest dating adventures. Stephanie had been going out with a guy from Princeton and now her parents had found out about that and forbid her to see him again. She was supposed to go to Yale. Her whole family went there so it was absolutely disgraceful for her to date someone from Princeton. Madeline and Louise were trying to come up with different ways how Stephanie could keep on seeing him because he was completely_ gorgeous_. And one plan was more hilarious than the other but the three would not want to hear a word of it when Paris and Rory told them that.

The guys on the other hand were trying to decide on a movie but every time they got even close to one, they would get a withering stare from Rory telling them to choose something else. It was fun to watch that although Finn was sure that that nagging feeling in the back of his mind would not go away very soon.

Especially, since every minute brought him closer to the dreaded party. When he thought about it the movie night was not such a good idea after all. He should have insisted on them spending that last week before the party completely alone because he was sure that after that it would all be over.

He felt her small fingers as she pulled him towards the couch to squeeze in beside her so that they could watch the movie together. Beside them on the couch sat Louise and Logan bickering over who could have more space on the rest of the couch. Madeline and Tristan were sitting before them and Paris and Colin shared the armchair.

Finn laid his arm around her shoulder to get her just that bit closer, to feel the heat of her skin beneath her jumper and to feel the soft beating of her heart. In these last few weeks he had felt more alive than in a long time. He was thinking that maybe he could again be the person he was before Drew died. When he was with Rory the pain was almost bearable...

---

Rory got out of her bed and tiptoed carefully across her room trying not to trip over one of the people sleeping on the floor. Sometime during the third movie of the night, Madeline had fallen asleep and let her head drop onto Tristan's shoulder when they decided to go to bed and get some rest. Rory went over to cupboard and got one of the mugs. It was one with silly cows on it that probably belonged to her mom. As she turned around to go to the sink and get some water, she saw Finn standing in the doorway to her room. He was just in his pyjama bottoms as she had stolen his shirt to sleep in. Even though he lay right beside her, it had been the shirt that had given her some sort of reassurance and that had chased away the fear of the last night.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." she apologized. Now that he was not wearing his sunglasses anymore she could see the prominent bags under his eyes. He looked so old with them nothing like the cheery boy she knew was inside of him. She knew he had to be somewhere.

"You didn't wake me. I couldn't sleep." Finn answered while making his way over to her. She hopped onto the counter and pulled him close so that her knees were on either side of him.

"Finn... Please, talk to me." she whispered and he could not miss the begging tone in her voice. Her big blue eyes were pleading with him to let his guard down, to let her in and to let her take the weight off his shoulders and help him carrying it. But he could not. He could not ruin the little time they had left before everything would tumble down around him and leave him with the ashes of what could have been a chance at happiness. So instead he leant in and kissed her. First he kissed her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her cheeks and finally her lips.

The kiss was so soft, so gentle but to Rory it was as if he screamed at her. 'Help me, Rory!' he screamed over and over again. 'Don't ever let go!' She wanted to help him and soothe his pain and so she did not let go. When she buried her fingers in the dark curls at the nape of his neck he pulled her as close as was possible with her sitting on the counter. Rory let her hand wander down over his chest right to where his heart was beating wildly and let it lie there trying to calm him down. As he kissed his way down towards her neck she whispered into his ear. "I'm here, Finn. I'm here."

And Finn stopped kissing her but kept her close. Her hand was still where his heart was. It felt good there, warm and soft. Suddenly, there was a prickling sensation behind his eyelids.

There was no indication that he was crying but Rory could feel the hot tears on her shoulder and she just held him and let him cry. It hurt so much to see him like this that she felt her own tears starting to well up. She shifted a little to get a better hold of him and rub her hand slowly over his back because now small sobs were racking his body. That was when she saw Paris standing at the door to her room with a frown on her face.

But Rory could not concentrate on her right now all she could think about was the crying boy in her arms. Because in that moment he was just that, a boy that had been treated badly by the world and had no idea why.

"Finn, let's go back to bed. We could use some rest." she said while hopping off the counter. She wiped the tears from his cheeks and gave him one last kiss before taking him with her back to her room. When they entered the room Rory saw Paris on the mattress again, facing away from them. Settling on her bed she took Finn with her, pulled him close and held him until he was asleep before even thinking about getting some sleep herself.

---

Finn sat in Tristan's car on his way back to Hartford. It was Sunday and he had to get a few things ready for school the next day. Another reason was that his parents had 'requested' a meeting with him. So he was sitting in this car driving away from Star's Hollow and from the girl he loved. The morning had not been awkward despite the events of the last night. Rory had not said anything and the others did not seem to have noticed anything. He had not cried in a long time. That had been one thing he had learned from his parents. Showing your emotions did not get you very far.

Before he knew it they had arrived at his parents' house. He did not consider this house home, there was actually no house that was home to him although Rory's home was getting closer and closer to becoming his home too.

"You want one of us to come inside with you?" Tristan asked. He had been present on several occasions when Finn had one of his talks with his parents. He always told everyone that he had a bad relationship with his parents but that was nothing compared to Finn's family. Then again Tristan's parents did not want to see him dead and their other son alive again.

Finn just shook his head. It would not help him. His parents did not care whether his friends were there or not. They would just say what they wanted to say. They just cared about themselves and the loss of their beloved son. That he had lost his brother and best friend was not important. Getting out of the car he waved his friends one more time and made slowly his way towards the main entrance.

"Son, sit down. We have to talk." his father said as he entered the living room. "When your mother and I have fulfilled all our social obligations in the next two months we will move back to Australia. We have decided that by moving away we could live better with everything that has happened in the past."

"What do you mean? I can't move. My life is here." Finn felt this pain as if someone was stabbing him right in the heart. They wanted to take everything away from him. And what was worst they did not show even a hint of emotion.

"That is thing. We also decided that you won't be moving with us."

Just like that. They sprung that on him just like that. Behind the hatred he had felt towards them for the last couple of years they had still been his parents. But even that little bit of love had been killed with that one sentence.

"We already talked to our lawyer. The house will be sold in two months. Until then we will be a family. You will get the money from the sale and access to the trust fund your grandfather set up for you." his father went on. Finn could not believe what he was hearing. They wanted to give him, a seventeen-year-old teenager, several million dollars and leave him alone? But his father was not finished.

"You will only get this money though in exchange for two things. First, you will sign an emancipation form and second, you will not contact us in any way or form."

His mother had not said a word through all of this. She was looking out of the window as if she was bored out of her mind. "Are you serious? You would rather have no son at all than the one who was a mistake anyway?" he wanted to scream and throw things around but it came out calmly instead.

"Don't be dramatic, Finn." his mother said. "We hardly see each other anyway. It won't be very different to what we have now." with that she got up and left the room.

"The forms will be here next week, you will just have to sign them." with that his father followed his mother out of the room.

It was as if everything was on autopilot. Finn registered the fact that he was walking up towards his room. He felt the blood rushing through his veins, heard it. This was not happening. 'Until then we will be a family.' What did they think? That they could switch him on and off whenever they wanted? But had they not said that they wished him dead instead of Drew on more than one occasion? Well, at least part of their wish would be fulfilled now, though nothing could ever bring back Drew.

Suddenly, he was sitting on his bed a bottle of rum in his hand. There was a bottomless, black pit beneath him and was falling and he could not see the end.

---

Paris smiled at the maid when she entered the Morgan's home. She had promised to pick Finn up on her way to school. That way they could talk a little about everything that had happened over the last few months. She was making her way directly to his room. She knew his parents had to be around here somewhere but she did not feel the need to greet them. They had not done it often in the past. After knocking on his door she got no response and got worried. Trying the doorknob and seeing that it was not locked she slowly opened the door.

The first thing she saw were the clothes scattering the floor, the smashed mirror which had broken into a million piece or so it seemed, the books and CDs. Nothing was in its place anymore and then she saw Finn lying on his bed, an empty bottle of rum beside him. What had happened? When they had left Rory's he had seemed fine or at least fine for him.

He was not asleep. He had heard Paris when she had knocked. But he could not even concentrate on the simple words 'Come in!' because all these thoughts that had kept him from sleeping were flitting through his mind and the alcohol did the rest. But he did not care. He had spent the last night with a bottle of rum and smashing his room. His parents' room was not far from his and he wondered how they could sleep through that and then proceeded to make more noise but he did not get a reaction from them.

"Finn?" Paris whispered. She had wished to never see him like this again and now it had happened twice on one weekend. Her heart was breaking for him yet at the same time she wanted to scream at him and ask why he did this. But he was her best friend and so she went over to him careful not to trip over anything lying on the floor and took the empty bottle and threw it into the trashcan. Then she took off his shoes and jacket and manoeuvred him under the blanket. She could talk to him later but now he needed to sleep it off.

Finn was grateful that Paris did not pester him with questions. He would not be able to answer them anyway. His eyes were closed but he felt a single tear escape them. Why did everything go out of control?

Paris saw the tear roll down his cheek and slowly wiped it away. Giving him a kiss on the forehead she quietly left the room to make her way to school. Normally, she liked school but today would be horrible. She would have to explain to the others why Finn was not there and she would have to see Rory trying not to break down in front of them.

---

Rory had just stepped off the bus and made her way over to the parking lot where she saw Tristan, Logan and Colin standing. Tristan and Logan were checking out a girl that had just passed them and Colin was trying to stop them from whistling.

"Morning, boys!" Rory greeted them.

"Mary, when will you get a car? You can't seriously tell me that you like riding on the bus." Tristan said. They had said it on more than one occasion that they did not like her taking the bus to school. But Rory did not mind, the bus was not as horrible as everyone thought, and she had some time to herself and to her reading. Her reading had suffered a little since she was going out with Finn and having new friends.

"Bible boy, I don't want a car. I like it the way it is." she answered smiling but that smile faltered when she saw Paris getting out of her car a few spaces down. That would not have been a problem had she not been alone. Rory knew that Finn was supposed to drive with Paris today. Something about the look on Paris face was worrying here there were anger, sadness and worry. Taking a step towards Paris, Rory saw her looking at her with pity in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Rory had wanted to ask the same question but Colin had been faster.

"I couldn't get him out of bed... His room was a mess and he couldn't even answer me." Paris answered. Colin pulled her close trying to give her some sort of comfort.

"Give me your keys!" she said to Paris. Taking a step towards her she felt Tristan taking a hold of her hand wanting to keep her back. She saw Paris slightly shake her head. "Logan, can I take your car?" She got no reaction. If they did not let her take one of their cars then she would take the bus. Now she was angry with herself. Why had she not wanted a car? Her grandparents had wanted to buy her one.

Rory tried to make her way back to the bus stop but Tristan would not let go of her hand. Slowly, tears clouding her vision. Why would they not help her? She had to get to Finn, he needed her. Could they not see it?

"Rory" Tristan whispered. Jerking around, she saw the pain in his eyes. The pain she knew came from having to keep her from Finn. "He doesn't want you to see him like this. He told me once that if I ever found him drunk the way he was before he met then I should keep you from him." Rory tried again to get her hand free but he just would not let go. "Tristan let go!" she cried but he pulled her close and held her trying to soothe her. "You know what? Colin and Paris will go back to Finn's and take care of him and you, Logan, the girls and I will go to my house and spend the day there." While saying this he steered her into Logan's car and nodded to Colin and Paris who were already on their way to Finn.

She registered that Logan called Madeline and Louise before starting the engine. Tristan was sitting in the back with her calming her down but the tears would not stop running.

---

Rory lay in one of the guest rooms in Tristan's house. The curtains were drawn and there was no sound except for her soft breathing and the occasional sob. When they had arrived at Tristan's house Madeline and Louise were already there waiting for them. Sometime during the ride she had pushed Tristan away. She wanted to be alone, curl up and just be alone. The only thing that went through her mind was that Finn did not want her there. He said he loved her but he did not want her there. That was what hurt most. How was this going to work if he always pushed her away and did not let her help him?

She could not remember how long she had been lying there but she knew that there were no more tears left.

Someone knocked on the door but Rory did not bother to turn around. It was probably Madeline trying to get her to eat and drink something. She heard how someone slowly opened the door but still she did not look at who was at the door. With a soft clock the door was shut and she felt the bed dip where the person sat down.

"Rory?" she heard Paris softly ask. "He told me to give you this and that he is coming back to school tomorrow. He needs to talk you." Paris leaned over and laid something there since she was not hoping to get an answer out of Rory she got up again.

Rory looked at the ring and saw that it was Finn's. It had belonged to Drew. Finn had told her that after the accident the people at the hospital had given him Drew's personal effects. He had also told her that he had not once taken it off since. There they were again, the tears.

"Why?" she asked before Paris could leave the room. "What happened? Why did he drink?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell us. He said that he needed to tell you first." Paris answered. "He loves you, Rory."

Rory heard the soft click as the door was closed and she was alone again. Slowly, she sat up still examining the ring that Paris had left. This ring meant so much to him and now he had taken it off just for her but still he refused to see her. It was too big for her finger so she slowly took off her necklace and put the ring onto it then she refastened the necklace. She would wear that ring as long as he would let her but she was angry with him. She thought she had made it clear that he could always come to her.

---

Rory had spent the night at Tristan's. They all had. This morning it had been Rory who wanted to wear sunglasses to school. Her eyes were red and there were dark circles under them showing how little sleep she had gotten throughout the night. Arriving at the school Rory directly made her way to her locker and did not wait with the others on the parking lot. She had no desire to talk with Finn the whole school present so she had decided to avoid him until after their classes were finished. She just hoped that she could stick to that plan.

People were looking at her. She could feel their stares burning holes into her head but she did not turn around. She probably looked like a real mess in a uniform that was not hers and with sunglasses hiding her eyes.

---

Finn walked onto the parking lot and saw the others standing there but Rory was nowhere in sight. Logan nodded towards the school indicating that Rory was already inside. They looked worried. If it was about him or about Rory he did not know. Passing by them he entered the halls of Chilton. When he went into the hallway where her locker was he felt as if someone was stabbing him, reopening the wounds he had received in the last few days. It seemed as if she was in great pain. Her shoulders were hunched over and she was wearing sunglasses something he had not seen her do often. When she did he always asked her to take them off so that he could see those beautiful blue eyes.

She turned around as if she knew that he was standing there and watching her. Taking a step towards her she backed away and left him standing there looking after her. He thought he saw a teardrop run down her cheek but he could not be sure. Turning around he saw Logan standing behind him.

"She cried all day. She doesn't understand why you didn't want to see her." he told Finn.

Finn tried to talk to her all day but he also knew that she was not a very public person and probably did not want a confrontation in one of the halls. But he wondered when she would talk to him again and he had the feeling that it would not be very soon. The knowledge that she did not want to talk to him that she did not even want to look him in the eyes hurt more than anything his parents could ever do.

He was a little surprised when he saw her standing at his car after their last class. Making his way over to her he saw her looking down at her feet. He stopped right in front of her and let his bag drop. And like that he pulled her close to him. He felt her protesting at first but she soon gave up and let him hold her. They both got comfort out of each other's arms.

"Let's go somewhere where we can be alone." Rory said but not letting go of him.

---

They had driven around for awhile when they had decided to just park the car near a small lake and sit in the backseat.

"What happened? What happened that you had to trash your room?" Rory asked and at his questioning glance she said "Paris told me."

"My parents told that they are going to sell the house and move back to Australia." Rory looked at him with a pained expression. "They also told that they did not wish me to go with them. They want me to emancipate myself from them. They said I would get the money from the sale and access to my trust fund and that I should never contact them again." he elaborated.

Rory's mind was on overdrive. What kind of parents would give up the only child they had left?

"But why didn't you want me there? I thought we'd go through anything together. I told you I'd be there for you."

"I don't want to drag you into this. I don't want to drag you down with me and believe me, I am going down." Finn told her while playing with a strand of her hair. Rory slowly sat up and fully looked at him.

"No, you're not. I won't let you and the others won't either. Besides I'm too far in to let go of you now. That is something I found out last night. You can't leave me, Finn. When Paris told me that you didn't want to see me it felt as if someone was ripping my heart into a million tiny pieces and I was sure that I could never go on like this. Every day with this feeling in my heart would be too much." and with that she kissed him. Finn mumbled "I'm sorry!" against her lips but she would not let him say anything else.

What she said made him feel a little hope for her grandparents' party. Maybe she would really choose him and stay with him no matter what. But he could not go thinking about that as Rory shifted so that she was sitting on his lap and her fingers in his hair. She wanted to be as close to him as possible but nothing she did was enough. She did not need to do anything though because in that moment Finn who felt the same need pulled her even closer. Rory could feel his heart beating against her chest and she was sure hers was beating just as fast as his.

Suddenly, his hands were on her skin and left a burning trail wherever they went. Her fingers left his hair and slowly went to her shirt and worked on the buttons. One after one the buttons came undone. Sitting there on his lap with her shirt open showing her white bra she broke the kiss and looked Finn in the eyes. This moment was nothing like she had imagined it to be but it felt right. She had never thought that she would lose her virginity in the backseat of a car but life was unexpected.

Her fingers made their way to his shirt and started to unbutton it. Finn's gaze followed her every move and could not believe what was happening. Leaning forward he kissed his way down her neck to her collarbone and his hand gently cupped her breast. He could not stay away any longer. He did not have any strength left to fight something he really wanted.

Rory ground against him and could not stop the moan coming over her lips. This was right and she would not change it for the world. She did not need roses and candle light. All she needed was Finn and he was right here. She just had to make him see that she was there as well.


End file.
